Well so here it is at 4:38 in the morning. I guess I have this overly extended hunger to write some stuff so..whatever..
Anyways. I woke up today talked to some people online and then I took a shower, played some guitar and then left to visit friends. It's amazing how many people I have to hang out with now that my former girlfriend has left. *sigh*
Actually she still thinks I'm her boyfriend.She doesnt know that I know how scandalous she was and still is trying to be, now that we've tried working things out.I guess in the end I should have just left it where I broke it, but it hurt really really bad.So bad in fact, that we've tried but I already know shes working against me even though she professes her undying love to me everytime I see her. I mean if you were trying to get someone back what would you do?I suppose I should just break it off all mean and nasty like but everytime I talk to her I just try to hint that maybe I know more than she thinks I do, and besides I'm nobodys dog.Nobody likes being the fool that had everything happening right under his or her nose.Right? I mean do people really appreciate it when they find out theyve been cheated on? No I didnt think so. Unless you have some crazy swinger sex life and open relationships get you all you ever dreamed of..I suppose. I mean I'm just a simple guy from BFE Ohio. I dont have too many requests or rules in a relationship, but one that stands out for myself is: No Cheating. Unless of course youre in the aforementioned swinger/open relationship situation. Even though Ive heard those hurt feelings too and break up relationships and cause heartache and split kids up from their parents and etc,etc,etc. Why does it have to be so hard to find someone thats..trustworthy. Someone who actually has the guts to tell you what youre doing wrong in order to make the relationship grow? Someone who actually has the drive to make it work instead of letting it fester away until finally they get bored enough to have an affair.
I didnt cheat you know. I honestly loved this person and wanted none other. I was ready to fully invest everything I had in this person. What a waste of time. What a mass of regret and emotion. But hey it happens all the time right.
Maybe I'm just whining.Maybe thats why I'm trying to find someone new , but at the same time it's hard to trust anyone at this point. You never know whats being pulled over your eyes sometimes.You never know who theyll be outside of the online chatroom or personals service they communicate with others through. Well I guess this might be a little depressing for a first blog.I like having one but then tons of people are gonna like read my stuff.Well if they ever decide to check me out.I guess I just needed some time to let it out a little. If for anything its better than sitting in a room, bursting with emotion, and not having anywhere to release them.
TUESDAY JANUARY,23 2007
