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What are you waiting for?
Have you ever hated your life? I know I have. Have you ever felt like no one cares about you? I know I have? Have you ever felt like you would never find someone who truly loves you and appreciates you? I know I have. Have you ever felt as if no one understands you? I know I have. Have you ever felt as if things were never going to get better? I know I have? I know this may sound like a self-pity party, but a lot of time I feel this way. It seems everytime I have thought I have found a person who will be my partner in life or maybe even my soulmate I find I am wrong. At almost 40 I find myself wondering if I will ever find true love or if I am destined to be miserable for the rest of my life. I know I am not perfect and I have never been looking for perfection. I have always been looking for what my parents had in each other...a partner.
Is that too much to ask for anymore? Maybe. If I work is it too much to ask that my girlfriend cleans while I am busting my ass to pay the bills? Maybe. Is it too much to ask that other people do not come before our lives together? Maybe. I just do not know anymore. I guess I got the wrong message from my parents or something because no one I have been with since my ex-wife seems to think of being a partner in life the same way I do. Maybe I am asking for too much. I just do not know anymore. I see on here all the time women posting these tag pics that say "I would like to meet one man who will prove to me that they are not all the same." I guess that would be me with women. I would like to find one who will prove that not all women are the same.
In this world it seems people seem to think it is ok to be a liar and a cheater. People say they want love but when there is a good person who would love to be with them there is always some reason they do not want them. People say personality is important but their actions prove different. I may not be sexy like some actor or make a shit-load of money but I am a good man. So why is that not enough? Why do people have to lie about what they want in a partner? Do they think that the lie makes them out to be a decent person? Do they not realize that people will learn that what they say is a lie? I just do not know.
Well I am going to end this for now...not like anyone will probably read it or anything. Most of the time no one seems to care about me on here, so I will just return to my misery in private and act like everything is fine.
