This ache I feel
This hole I try to fill
It makes me cry out
It brings me to my knees
I know there must be more
To living
I've lost the way
I've lost the rhythm
The give and take
The dreams I'm livin'
For
There are too many days
Between the highs and lows
It's all drawn out and slows
To something flat and clean
Of what I had and where it's seen
I want it all
Not just now and then
But now and when
I want it again
Too many nights are spent alone
Thinking of you and how it is
When you make me disappear
In the place I've never been
Until now
You uncovered the waiting truth
Of what I need
I come apart at your touch
And I feel so weak
Yet whole
I can't walk away so I run instead
Try to hide and pretend
Like it doesn't really matter
That you have the key
To the place
I need to be
And it makes me tremble
Makes me want to hide
In the face of my own desire
For what you do to the center of my being
I have to turn away
I have to deny
My own release
Because I might get lost
Never return
To my body that is laying in your hands
Begging for more
As I forget to breathe
It catches in my throat
As I struggle back to the surface
Where the walls are real
Where the sheets are there
To cover my aching
Please don't look at my pain
My surrender
My giving over who I am
And what it takes
To take me
I crawl to the surface
Of the pool where I'm drowning
And gasp
I reach out for your hand
Needing more
Needing you
Free falling in the the abyss of desire
I bite my lip and fight back the tears
I am afraid
That I'll never truly let go
And that I will
And I will want you
Need you
Only to be left wanting and needing
To let go
In the emptiness of my days
I can't let you do that
I can't open myself up to the endless possibility of your touch
Where does that leave me
As I struggle to hold on to some piece of me
You can never touch
Can never release
But that is what I desire
More than life itself
The moment where I disappear
Where we become something other
Than this physical reality
I beg you
Take me there
Don't let me withhold
The surrender I need
Don't stop even when I do
Can you hold me over the cliff
And not let me fall?
I want to believe in you
I want to believe in me
That I won't disintegrate
Into pieces that will never be put back together.
So I wait
And hope
And wonder
Where are you in all of this?
Do you want to run when you read of my desire?
Is it all too much and should I have kept quiet?
My heart beats in odd rhythms
Hoping to find you there waiting
Saying yes
You want this too
That you will take this chance
Of where I lose myself to you
And you won't leave me hanging
Off the edge of life
Are you afraid?
Does this power you have over me
Make you want to run?
Have I asked too much
Given too much
Or can you hold it all and see it
For what it is
A chance we may never have again
And can I wait to hear
Can I ever let myself say this to you?
Can I bare it all like this to you?
And what do I do now
In this admission of my desire?
