well the last few days have been HELL.i have a few on going health problems that im prolly gonna have the rest of my life.4 months after i had my son my gulbladder and somthing eles went all nuts on me.i went thru tons and tons of tests and all kinds of stuff to find ou what was wrong with me. at the time the doc i had kicked ass. he understood just how much pain i was in and he knew how unhappy i was from all of it.well he told me that it would be best to take out my gulbladder and i was like ok. well then a different health problem got a lot lot worse and had to be taken care off asap. my old doc would give me vicodins every month. now im not a pill head so i can make 30 of them last for about 2 months depending on how many attakes i have.well the great doc i had left so i have to see a new one. she was a hippy and told me that the pain pills wasnt the best thing and that I need to find my own ways to handle pain.WTF. so ive been haveing my attakes and crying and not going to the doc cuz i didnt see the point. well the 2nd doc is now gone and there is yet again a new doc that ppl have told me is great and would most likely let me have my pain pills back.so ihave hope that he he might.Well this week has been hell. wensday the pain from my gulbaldder was so bad i wanted dave to kill me loli didnt sleep at all. at 7 am i have to be at our new house to wait on the gas guy thankfully my mom stayed with me. the guy showed at 1 pm.i called my new doc and told him how bad it was and what all was going on he saya be here at 4. im happy yet dont get to happy cuz i m in a lot of fucking pain.so i tell him that i cant handle it any more i just cant. when i bring up the pain pilss i used to get he says yes but thats not a long term fix.I WANTED TO KILL HIM. so instead he prescibes these pills i have to take 4 times a day and if they work ill have to take them for 4 times a day the rest of my life. the doc also said that just removeing my gulbladder was to exterm. to exterm?toextrem?? im ready to kill myslef and just takeing the thing out is to exterm?well i go to pick up the pills and guess what? the doc sent in the prescipion thru the computer and it didnt work so yeah i get to go back today and try to get it again. im so pissed off. dave held me when i got home and i just cried. at 630 i took some sleeping pills and slept till 5 this morning. im so not happy.i like to think i can take pain well. i was in labor with my son for 24 hours and 11 mins. 15 hours of it was the worst labor you can have and i took that great. but i cnat take this not anymore.time for me to find a new doc that is gonna either take the fucking thing out or giveing something for this pain.
