My Bad Days and Good Days
I decided to write some words for my Friends who put up with my bad and good days.
I call you sisters brothers, sweet companions. When some friendships for now are expressed only in writing, so much is left out of the other ways we communicate.
Some days I have to rest. I work in bursts of energy before they burn out. When the burned out time comes, if I can't get to the keyboard I cannot reach you. How I wish we were telepathic, like these words I would put as much into my thoughts as I could so you would know why and most importantly my silence isn't you.
In response to my silence how would you know other than to assume I don't want to speak. That is how most of the world operates and we know all
too well where we are not wanted. But I am in the world, not of it.
I've felt a silent anger
of those who fear they are forgotten
And I cry angry tears at me too
I fight the rest that would restore, working with an uncooperative body. Sometimes.
When I do not write or I am silent
It is those days perhaps you are most
on my mind.
Perhaps patience is too much to ask of you..
Before you decide on me too harshly be aware
That I impose judgement on myself
More than an angry mob.
But feeling bad brings me not to a better place
but worse
And I grow fainter.
More days and hours pass.
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But I cannot tell you when these times occur because thought forms refuse to form words.
And what words do form are in pieces that cannot find meaning.
Know that this state is temporary and when it passes there is love. And all the while I never ever forget you.
I am just lost for awhile.
