Have you ever had one of those times when you wish you felt alive again? I am there now, and I ain't sure what to do. I have done much evil, much more good, and now I can't decide which works best. I don't do nasty drugs. I don't drink as much as I could. I don't smoke but for prayer. I guess I am a pretty boring guy in those respects. However, I have hunted, I've killed, and I LIKED IT! Maybe a bit too much. Oh fuckin' well. Coulda done alot for the Mafia, maybe even the military. But I'm too fuckin' gimped up now. I can still do the work, but not as clean, so, not gonna work. The "If Only" shit gets old. C'Est la vie!