Eros's blog: "Stuff"

I find myself in a bit of a jam and needing some help. If you would be so obliged in at least reading this I would be thankful. 

I am trying to get work as a security guard, but they require a comprehensive 5 year history for background check purposes.

Here's where my problem arises. Due to my prolonged stay in the good ole US of A there is a big gap in my history that they will not check for me. As such, I need to somehow provide this for them.

I emailed the US embassy and they gave me two options:

Either go through some rigmarole with the FBI involving fingerprints, money and a great deal of waiting

or

Contact the local police where I last resided and get a criminal check done by them and get a document of their findings.

So either way, I have problems. The FBI is pretty much a no go, and being back in the UK I won't be phoning Bradenton police any time soon.

Wherein lies my need for advice and any help you kind people that put up with me may be able to give.