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What are you waiting for?
1. If you be quitting jobs.. or getting paid strictly cash just to avoid paying child support... you better not expect a damn thang on Fathers' Day!!
2. If your kids grew up with each other.. but ONLY found out that they siblings after they get up in age... your Fathers' Day gift should be an ass whuppin!!
3. if your kids live next door to each other.. or across the street from each other... not only do you not get a Fathers' Day gift.. but you should consider it a blessing you ain't got shot yet!
4. if all you've done is dropped off a few dollars now and then for your kid... IF they decide to get you some socks or a tie... you should wear them until they completely unravel.. then pack that string up and keep it in your wallet.... damn it!
5. Showing up for a few birthday parties.. or a couple of Christmases does not make you a Father.. just makes you a little more than a "guest" in your kid's life... NO GIFT FOR YOU!!
6. if you got so many kids.. that you ain't quite sure what all their names are... no Fathers' Day gift for you!!!
7. For any dude that has DEMANDED that the baby momma name the kid JUNIOR.. and you KNOW you ain't done nothing since the baby was born... no Fathers' Day gift for you!!
8. if your kids have ever had to put $ on your books... you already done got your damn Fathers' Day gift!
9.if your kids think your name is 4513215946 (let it marinate)... then no Fathers' Day gift for you!!
10. if your kids have never seen you in anything other than ORANGE... no Fathers' Day gift for you!!!
11. if your kids only know you as "that dude from up the street"... nah bruh.. no Fathers' Day gift for you!!
12. if your kids have more jobs than you do... you do NOT get a Fathers' Day gift!!
13. If you ONLY claim your kids for TAX PURPOSES.. you do NOT get a Fathers' Day gift!!
14. If you got kids by different women.. but your kids all got the same 1st name.. you do Not get a Fathers' day gift.. UNLESS.. it's a swift kick in the ass!!
15. If your kids half sisters or brothers Father is taking care of your kids... Bruh... get that man a Tie or some Socks and a Thank you card... or something!!!
16. If the only way you take care of your kids is because the judge is garnishing your check.. you should NOT expect a Fathers' Day gift!
17. If your kid grew up thinking you were his uncle/big brother/cousin... when he gets old enough to know the truth.. you should NOT expect a Fathers' Day gift!!
18. If spending time with your kids requires them to only visit you on Sunday afternoons (if they name on the list)... you should NOT expect a Fathers' day gift!!
19. If none of your kids have your last name... you should not expect a Fathers' Day gift!!
20. If you got 7 kids by 8 baby mommas(figure that math out).. your Fathers' Day gift should be a vasectomy!!
21. If Maury had to say.. "YOU ARE THE FATHER".. you should not expect to get a Fathers' Day gift.
22. 1st off...... know the definition of Father(Daddy)... if you ain't never been involved with your kid... you're not a Father(Daddy).. you're a sperm donor.. so technically.. sperm donor day was the day you knocked her up.. stay in your lane.. don't be looking for no card or tie!!
