Over 16,536,789 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
The widow of the former Head of State of a small African nation has expressed surprise at the lack of interest from the numerous people she has emailed offering a share of her husband’s millions.
The family of the late King of Fakumba, have apparently sent ‘dozens’ of emails to suitable ‘good and responsible’ people across the UK offering them a share of the fortune, in return for a mere £2500. But as of yet, there has been no response.
Queen Echinacea and her daughter the Princess Jasmine are now concerned that people suspect the offer is too good to be true.
‘It is very strange, maybe people are unaware of the Kingdom of Fakumba, as we admittedly are a very small nation,’ the Queen remarked, ‘but we are easy enough to find, being north of South Africa and east of Nigeria. Despite being a very small country we are rich in oil, gas, gold, diamonds and numerous other precious stones, and it is perhaps unusual that more people aren’t aware of our homeland.’
The Fakumba royal family are now in hiding, but had managed to withdraw over GBP4.6million from bank accounts before the monarchy was overthrown in a military coup led by the former head of the army General Madeupi,
‘I really cannot stress how important it is that we receive the money we need to flee to Europe,’ begs the Queen in her email, ‘where we will be so happy to reward our saviour with half the money to say thank you for their assistance. My beautiful daughter Jasmine would certainly be willing to do anything for any man out there prepared to help us. However, for now we remain trapped in a safehouse in the hills of Fakumba, with my late husband’s vast fortune hidden in four large pillowcases.’
The lack of respondents has been blamed on a new cynicism surrounding the veracity of the internet, and echoes the case of Dr Augustus Shenckelmann who has personally emailed thousands of people to promote a new cream proven to tackle erectile dysfunction. ‘It’s incredible,’ sighs Dr Shenckelmann, ‘it’s almost as if people are not really interested in the latest developments in penile technology.’
