It feels so alone right now I hate the fact that noone understands what I am going through and it feels I have noone to talk to about it. I can't talk to much about it to my friends because everything I am going through is my fault in some way and why talk about it when noone understands not even me. I just want to be held and protected. Right now I feel I am alone in the darkness trying to fight off my fears. I'm scared and tired and lonely and trying not to be. I don't know how I can let this effect me so much and I know no one believes me when I say I don't want him back or love him. I'm not going to take him back and I am scared of what he has planed noone thinks it's a big deal but I feel it coming I feel it's not over and I need to be protected. I hate being scared of someone I use to spend all my time with and at one point I thought I loved. I hate that noone has any faith in me any more. I wish I could turn back time and change all the things I did. I don't regret anything I have ever done I have been sorry when it's over or would have done it differently so I wouln't have hurt so many people or myself so much.
