This is why women should not take men shopping
against their will.
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton
insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he
found shopping boring and preferred to get in and
get out.
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most
women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton
received the following letter from her local
Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been
causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both
of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
Fenton are listed below and are documented by our
video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly
put them in people's carts when they weren't
looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in
Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the
floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her
in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on
it right away."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried
to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR"
sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping
department and told other shoppers he'd invite them
in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the
bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could
help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't
you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security
camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his
nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the
hunting department, he asked the clerk where the
antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store
suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission
Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he
practiced his "Madonna look" by using different
sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcemen! t came o ver
the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and
screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least ....
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut
the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly,
"Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Regards,
Walmart
hi.. Mr. Fenton here. I'd like to defend my actions. they were justified.. believe me..
I'm sure I represent the majority of males in today's society.
we ALL hate shopping, and Xmas shopping HAS to be the worst.
and if there was ever a place to do these deeds.. Walmart certainly deserves it..
do I need to remind everyone of the unfair practices to which walmart employs ?
no.. I think not.. there just wouldn't be enough space/bandwidth..
I encourage all of you males out there to follow in my footsteps..
if caught, just tell them Mr. Fenton told you to do it..
it won't help much, but I'll get my name in the paper again..
thanks in advance..