7166137's blog: "What's on my mind"

After I wrote that essay about Does it Matter, I was grocery shopping. For some reason, I was reminded of two sayings I got from each of my parents, These aren't famous quotes, but they are good. I'll write my mother's first.

Don't Keep Score. It's when siblings start saying things are unfair if their brother got this, or their sister got that. My mother told me that it generated from her mother's family, in which there was, according to her, a lot of jealousy, and some of that led to my grandmother being an alcoholic in her later years. There would be no way for me to understand any of what she kept inside, and I know my mother probably only knows very little.

On Fubar, I treat how many likes I get, how many rates I get, how many famps I'm in, and how many times I am Cherry Bombed in a way to not get caught up in it. In me early days on here, I would count how many likes I gave and look at how many likes I received. I would go for weeks without getting even 100 likes in a single day. To counter that, I try to keep in mind to expect nothing in return, and be appreciative as you can, of anything you do get back, especially if it's far more than you can give back. 

I am part of a Rate Club, and have been with it since its inception. I have seen people belly aching about "they didn't like me" and others, and I would get asked to monitor if someone likes/rates me. I had to tell them that the more you get caught up in this, the more miserable you can become. Some are removed because they don't contribute at all, yet they are active on other ways on the site. It's sad that there has to be scorekeeping even for this.

One of my pet peeves is the achievements for being in the Top Ten for points up to 100 times. While people are trying to complete this, others are trying to get the triple threat so they can level. It was largely why I put off going for levels 64 then eventually 65 and the crown at 66.

One of the hardest to deal with is Cherry Bombing.I was going to write a whole blog about just that, but I can summarize it with Two Rules for Cherry Bombing.

1. Nobody NOBODY owes you a bomb. When you ask in the Shout Box for one, NO, is a perfectly acceptable answer.

2. Nobody NOBODY owes you a thank-you.

Sadly, it seems that people expect others to play this the same way they do, and can get upset when they don't. I often have a set plan when I am bombing, and I try to make it something different each time to get a wider variety of people. Think about this. If you want more people to treat you kindly on here, wouldn't it be better to treat them better? I don't get any increase of personal worth for writing this essay, but I do want to give tribute to my mother, who turned 75 a few weeks ago, is one of the most generous, forgiving, accepting and accomodating people on the entire face of the earth. This lesson about fairness has not gone unnoticed.

And as a footnote, taking this to real life. There needs to be times to keep score, and times to just let it go. Keeping score to get the best in a business world and employing the best, but letting things ride out to maybe find something better in someone by letting someone be WHO they are. Find a better fit for someone, instead of riding them into the ground because they can't do the one thing you "need" the most.