Ragdoll's blog: "good stuff"

This may not stop a divorce...I wish it could! But I believe that everyone in this world never should run out of chances to be believed in, I believe that as long as there is a shred of love in someone, then there is also a shred of hope. I  wish that we would sometimes treat adults the way we teach our kids to treat each other!  When our kids hurt someone..we tell them they better get their butt over to the one they hurt give them some loving, tell them they are sorry, then go back to playing.  Kids seem to have a bigger heart and can forgive each other a 1000 times a day. I believe that 2 people can only solve their problems together and not apart. I also believe in this world there is nothing that is unforgiveable.

There is no doubt that right now as i type there are 3 married couples I know on the brink of marital murder. The word Divorce, should only be used as a last option, only after exhausting all other reasonable and prudent options to salvage the greatest committment you have made as an adult. This means counseling, marital and or individual, financial, spiritual and any others that exist...Especially if you have children involved. It is hard, but I cant in good conscious look my children in the face if i didnt try everything possible to make sure they have a loving stable family to grow up in. All children derive their self esteem from both parents, they learn about love, togetherness stability, making it thru the hard times by the examples parents set for them. They learn that the value of anything good in this world comes from a lot of work blood sweat and tears. They learn that the important things are worth fighting for.

Like anything in this world..it is a choice. That includes love. Love is not a mushy ooey gooey feeling..It is an act of your will! It is a choice you make saying I choose you to be beside me for better or for worse in sickness and in health till death do us part....it doesnt say until i get bored, or the newer model comes along, or you dont have a job. or you arent sexually satisfying to me anymore, or you gained weight, got lazy, become mentally ill, got crazy parents, keep a dirty house...the list can include anything you want...but it doesnt matter. There arent any deal breakers but death, and if you try to put some in there..(.other than the obvious violence and immediate danger to life)...Its going to go against the very vows you spoke when you married each other.  If there were going to be conditions, there should have been a prenup, stating those parameters signed ahead of time.  

These couples i know have at the core a beautiful relationship. They really do! They broke down along the way due to neglect and mis and non communication. They took for granted the greatest asset given to them in this world and some let it wither away. Some let selfishness in and some let laziness and meanness in....But in the very beginning it wasnt this way. I know things can turn around for these couples if prides can be put aside for a time, and together make a committment to do and go thru whatever is needed to help save the family, not destroy it. To make the committments to each other to put their marriage first, to wipe the slates of hurt clean, and put their partners needs wants desires and dreams just as important as air food water and shelter. That there is nothing more important and desirous as your husband and or wife, and in them we find our greatest source of happiness, love comfort and peace.

Those couples in their golden years who have been married 40,50 or more years can surely tell you that it wasnt all peaches and creme. They got there by the dedicating themselves to their partner, above all else and rising up and coming against anything that would come to tear the home and family apart. By starting off the day with good morning beautiful, and ending the day not going to bed angry, by solving problems when they are small and not letting them spiral out of control and living like they are married to and for each other, not like 2 single people who live seperate lives.

I believe in marriage and all the good it can be. I do not believe we were created to live our lives alone. Having your partner for life does complete us on many different levels, and gives us a balance. We are what we put into it, and even if it looks dead on the outside, just like a plant..give it what it thrives on, some love water and sunshine and it will come back and flourish and bloom again.



Live Laugh and forever Love!