so...in having various conversations with various people today...i realise im defective. which isnt necessarily a bad thing? its just...some weird thing i never really noticed before?
people have memories.
people attach certain emotionalism to their memories.
in future days when they come across those certain things they evoke said memories.
i dont have that.
and im doing a horrific job of explaining what i mean.
D says that just means i get to start from scratch as an adult. which makes sense.
i was uber censored as a child...so became uber outspoken as an adult. and thereby also giving my children certain amounts of leeway that i as a child didnt have that luxury. yet i also have a tendency to reign in a little to hard at times...its just strange i suppose.
just makes me think.
alot.
there was a lot of social seperation.
forced social seperation.
that i can profoundly see as an adult but as a child..it just was the way it was...with the big pink elephant in the living room and the dont ask dont tell and the lack of people...beyond family...cuz ya dare not ask to invite someone over...and ya dare not ask to watch a show or listen to a particular radio station...
they were...unwritten rules...they were simply...understood.
so when you...well for no other better term...'grow up under a rock' as D would put it...whether its with choice or without choice...i dont know...
theres no emotional connotations...emotional attachment to that which one is forced to 'enjoy' when it comes to outside entertainment...so then as an adult one must explore the 'culture' they might have lived thru the time period of but eluded at the same time...and see for themselves what they enjoy and what they detest...
so when it comes down to it...theres an impass..an inability for me on my part to understand...and others on their part to understand...its that ravine with high waters raging thru it...each on a different side...sure we can see the other side...but we've never lived there...so we'll never fully grasp the entirety of it all.
and i didnt...realise it...til now.
*wanders away to ruminate*
