Katie Kaos's blog: "confessions of a junkie"

I feel I should tell my guy friends to not read this.. it is a toned down version and censored the best I can lol.. Im sick ok, I find humor in everything morbid or gross.


Dear Gyno

It has become too much.. I have a few things I would like to share.
I feel for the future of our relationship its necessary. I did make some graphs and pie charts to illustrate my point.. However after much thought I decided to just hit on a few key notes…..

* Please stop making me undress only to sit there for an hour waiting for you.
I know I love to sit in a paper bag and wait for you to grope me.

* I cant stress this enough.. Don't smile when you are giving me a pelvic exam.. or maybe you should start serving tequila in the waiting room

* I don't want to hear about your daughter's Basketball game while you feel up on my breasts k

* If you tell me you understand how bad cramps can be one more time I will hurt you. No uterus, no idea

* Stop trying to give me a mirror.. I know what my body looks like… If I didn't I'm sure I wouldn't share that experience with you.. you didn't even buy me dinner first

* It is hard enough to lay there with legs up on the stirrups without you pushing me around.. tell me to move and I will. Believe me with a speculum attached to my body I'm not going anywhere.

* Without going into too much detail.. When you are switching instruments tell me. This isn't a fun game I like to play. "What did the doctor just put inside me"

* I am not an egg.. do not try to flip me with your barbaric torture instruments

* I would love to know how my female reproductive system becomes a learning experience for lil baby doctors lol… This is not a free show pay at the door bitch

* "Katie I understand what you're going through"
I trust you but often I do wonder with no uterus, vagina or ovaries how you really understand