You ever get that feeling of loneliness? Wonder where life is gonna lead you? Wonder if there is such a thing as total happiness? Wonder if your gonna be alone for the rest of your life? Confused by your own emotions? thoughts? emptiness?
These are just a few things that seem to be going through my head lately. I really only think about these things a lot when i'm upset. Most people would call it depression (which it most likely is) but right now its a lot of just loneliness.. I miss my daughter so much, when she's home with me i have something to look forward to every day. But because of whats going on in my personal life (which is all my ex's fault) she is safe and happy 500 miles away from me at my mom's house. I miss her soooo much, sucks coming home to an empty quiet house.
Have you ever thought you loved someone so much that you did everything to please that person. Sacrificed doing what that person wanted, said what you knew would make them happy but never really being happy yourself? Or maybe its because your afraid to tell that person how you really feel about them and how they treat you because you dont want to lose that one last contact of feeling like i'm loved and cared for.
Why can't i find someone that will treat me as an equal? or there such a thing? Why can't people just learn to get to know me and not judge me on my looks. I may not be beautiful or even cute but i have the personality that most people wish they could duplicate. I make an awesome friend because you need something and i'm able to help i will, if you need someone to talk to or just to listen to you, well thats me; i have a great attitude and joking manner once i'm comfortable with you. If it can be done i'll do my darnest to do it! I just wish people could understand that, could really see me for me.
I'm tired of being alone, tired of people trying to control my life, tired of people trampling my heart and abusing it. I do have feelings and i'm tired of being hurt.
