I will warn you all, there is alot of reading to this, and it will be to most of these. I've had so far 7 people read the starting and they are addicted, I guess it depends on who your are and how your humor is. Enjoy the starting of the Blogging Series of "CN&MC"!
FetusXwXbbq: u WC'ing?
SimplyGC94x: Not atm
SimplyGC94x: What's up?
FetusXwXbbq: wow.. well what are u doing with ur exciting self then.. just starring at the computer screen?
FetusXwXbbq: nothing much man
SimplyGC94x: Actually
SimplyGC94x: I'm playing a different game
SimplyGC94x: Much cornier
SimplyGC94x: lol
FetusXwXbbq: well.. i guess today is a corney ass day for u..
FetusXwXbbq: today is a.. "JUANA DAY"
FetusXwXbbq: lol
FetusXwXbbq: for me.. not n e one else
SimplyGC94x: Juana day eh
SimplyGC94x: lol
FetusXwXbbq: well yea I guess for other ppl if they got a voice message from me about skat and water sports
SimplyGC94x: skate or scat?
SimplyGC94x: xD
SimplyGC94x: The latter a bit scarier than the former
FetusXwXbbq: i like spelling scat with a k.. makes me look stupid so i like it.. but yes sir I'm meaning scat.. shit on my chest scat
FetusXwXbbq: ok .. dude
FetusXwXbbq: hold on
FetusXwXbbq: pause urself for a second
SimplyGC94x: lol ok
FetusXwXbbq: ok ur talking smart and shit.. just so u know.. u are talking to a drop out that got a GED (8th grade level shit) and smokes alot of pot.. so ebonics please
SimplyGC94x: ok yo
SimplyGC94x: what up dawg
SimplyGC94x: xD
FetusXwXbbq: nuttin much G-Fizzy.. how is the nizzy up in the hizzy?
FetusXwXbbq: ok enough of that..
SimplyGC94x: guh-d
SimplyGC94x: I know right
SimplyGC94x: I can't talk like that
SimplyGC94x: I have a hard enough time decoding it
FetusXwXbbq: yea I live in the country where colored ppl aren't allowed or they get shot
SimplyGC94x: Haha
SimplyGC94x: I live close to the hood
SimplyGC94x: Not in it but close enough to get the riff-raff
FetusXwXbbq: hey make friends with a few.. come down here for vacation and i bet i can get rid of them in 3 hrs :-)
SimplyGC94x: Welcome to Schenectady, where taxes, crime, and burden will plague thee
FetusXwXbbq: well make friends with like 4.. I haven't went hunting in awhile and I'm sure my friends would love to play a lil game of dark meat hunt
SimplyGC94x: Hahaha
SimplyGC94x: I'd rather hunt deer but ok =P
FetusXwXbbq: well we don't eat what we kill.. i know that is the only part that is illegal around here.. but.. we just hang em in trees.. especially this time of year it's the best.. ornaments
SimplyGC94x: Eh
SimplyGC94x: I don't like em as ornaments
FetusXwXbbq: well aren't u just a hard one to please
SimplyGC94x: They stink from the get-go and that rotting flesh thing just doesn't roll well with me
FetusXwXbbq: shit I'd think it would be a great day and I was drinking coffee.. look outside and be like.. mom, that was one big bubbah I caught.
FetusXwXbbq: she'd be like.. oh u learned well
FetusXwXbbq: lmfao
FetusXwXbbq: ok off racist subject before i get into puerto ricans lmao
SimplyGC94x: lol
SimplyGC94x: Aren't you rican?
FetusXwXbbq: shhh we don't speak such things man
FetusXwXbbq: rican blood is only flowing on one half of my body
SimplyGC94x: lol
SimplyGC94x: Which half?
FetusXwXbbq: hold on let me check
SimplyGC94x: lol
SimplyGC94x: How does one check anyway
SimplyGC94x: xD
FetusXwXbbq: say these two lines, | |, is my body.. the rican blood flows on the left one
FetusXwXbbq: I had to look at my buttcheeks
SimplyGC94x: lmfao
FetusXwXbbq: but the rican blood will be leaving my body shortly
FetusXwXbbq: i will be paralized but I'd rather be that than a rican
SimplyGC94x: You really hate it that much>
SimplyGC94x: ?
FetusXwXbbq: i hate my tan
FetusXwXbbq: i hate my dark ass eyes
FetusXwXbbq: i don't like my rican family at all
SimplyGC94x: >.<
FetusXwXbbq: I'm the leader of the JRHK
SimplyGC94x: Joint Rican Hating Kommitee?
SimplyGC94x: +t
FetusXwXbbq: hmm that sounds better but NO BUDDY UR WRONG
SimplyGC94x: -_-
SimplyGC94x: What then
FetusXwXbbq: Juana Rican Hating Klan... established during Nam..
SimplyGC94x: Haha
SimplyGC94x: Pre-Juana
SimplyGC94x: It was done not in your memory, but in your upcoming arrival
FetusXwXbbq: I'm going to conquer one household at a time.. I am eventually going to rule the world, and there will be no ricans.. or n e cans for that matter
SimplyGC94x: But cans are good
FetusXwXbbq: why is that? they only are good in kitchens.. they should have a cot right next to the frier
SimplyGC94x: lol
SimplyGC94x: Your mind isn't in the correct gutter for that one
FetusXwXbbq: :P
FetusXwXbbq: :-P
SimplyGC94x: Hehe
FetusXwXbbq: I think ur my enemy.. but ur playing it off as if u aren't
FetusXwXbbq: and ur going to stop me i know it
SimplyGC94x: OMG
SimplyGC94x: HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS
FetusXwXbbq: cuz u talked to Ronald McDonald (my homeboy well not n e more) He backstabbed me by telling u that I can't live without the toys from the happy meals.. and ur gonna get rid of all happy meals and that will totally defeat me
FetusXwXbbq: i know u know what ur gonna do to stop me, I'm just telling u what u already know
SimplyGC94x: Well you see
SimplyGC94x: He did more than backstab you with info
SimplyGC94x: He backstabbed you by giving you different info than what he gave me
SimplyGC94x: I know the REAL way to win
FetusXwXbbq: oh.. i will defeat u with the McDonalds salt.. u know that's what everyone is addicted to.. I will be like Hitler and get an army together to take down both yours and Ronalds army like Jews
SimplyGC94x: Hahaha
SimplyGC94x: Ronald is not my ally
SimplyGC94x: IT'S THAT DAMN PURPLE HEIFER HE'S ALWAYS WITH
FetusXwXbbq: ronald fucked me over and told u shit.. u can have that wanna be ICP thug bitch
SimplyGC94x: Psh
SimplyGC94x: He owns you
SimplyGC94x: We'll take you down
SimplyGC94x: To Chinatown
FetusXwXbbq: Chinatown is gonna be poisoning ur army with stir fried cat so I don't know where the hell ur getting off on this
SimplyGC94x: Aw shit
SimplyGC94x: I knew you had that up your sleeve
SimplyGC94x: Very well, I'll just use my secret weapon
FetusXwXbbq: mmhmm better watch it.. this drop out with a GED might show your egjdumacted ass up
SimplyGC94x: lol
SimplyGC94x: egjdumacted
FetusXwXbbq: educated lol
SimplyGC94x: I love that word
SimplyGC94x: No I know
FetusXwXbbq: sorry had to find Mr. Webster
SimplyGC94x: I just love it
SimplyGC94x: brb
FetusXwXbbq: it looks like education in ejaculation.. all in one word
FetusXwXbbq: ok
FetusXwXbbq: and* not in.. grr
SimplyGC94x: lol
SimplyGC94x: Just like you to think of ejaculation
SimplyGC94x: =P
FetusXwXbbq: well yes sir
FetusXwXbbq: it's my perverted ass nature to think of things like that right away..
SimplyGC94x: Hehe
SimplyGC94x: I'm right with ya
SimplyGC94x: xD
FetusXwXbbq: kewl shit
FetusXwXbbq: brb, I have to take 3/4 sip of my Lipton Green Tea with Citrus, Then I have to get around this childproof piece of shit lighter and light my cig, and I will be right back.
SimplyGC94x: lol
SimplyGC94x: Childproof
FetusXwXbbq: ok back
FetusXwXbbq: damn that shit is hard to figure out
FetusXwXbbq: seems like they are IQ tests
FetusXwXbbq: figured out the puzzle in 4 mins so I figure my IQ is prolly 145 if i could do it that fast
SimplyGC94x: Hehehe
SimplyGC94x: I did a couple of those things...they lie so bad
FetusXwXbbq: aww they give u a 105?
SimplyGC94x: They vary like 60 points
SimplyGC94x: lol no that would mean it was right
SimplyGC94x: xD
FetusXwXbbq: don't be so down on urself because I'm smarter than u in areas where it counts
SimplyGC94x: I never said you were dumb? O.o
FetusXwXbbq: it will be ok.. i promise.. everything will be just fine eventually **hugs**
SimplyGC94x: I just know I'm not the brightest bulb
FetusXwXbbq: I never said u were dumb either
FetusXwXbbq: I just said I was smarter
SimplyGC94x: I don't doubt it
SimplyGC94x: lol
FetusXwXbbq: the part in the IQ test where it asks if ur female or male.. well if u pick female.. they start u out with an 85 IQ.. if u pick male.. well they only start u out with a 0.54821 IQ
FetusXwXbbq: that's how the world works hun
FetusXwXbbq: the "what's ur sex question" is really 80% of the test..
FetusXwXbbq: ok i did that wrong lemme redo plz
SimplyGC94x: Haha
SimplyGC94x: I'd kill to be female
FetusXwXbbq: the "What's your sex" question.
FetusXwXbbq: I'll give u my boobs
FetusXwXbbq: u can have them for free.. what's ur addy i will give em to u for xmas.. don't send them back either
FetusXwXbbq: give em away if u get bored
FetusXwXbbq: or they aren't the right proportion.. no warranty on this
SimplyGC94x: Hahah
SimplyGC94x: I don't want just the boobs
SimplyGC94x: I'll take the whole thing
FetusXwXbbq: ok.. well it's like dell.. but it's already built, but if u need n e thing removed from ur order, pleaz feel free to let me know so ur 100% satisfied
SimplyGC94x: No ty
SimplyGC94x: Just send it
FetusXwXbbq: ok well umm.. dude, shipping?
FetusXwXbbq: my colon is not an atm
SimplyGC94x: Hmm
SimplyGC94x: Cash, check, money order?
FetusXwXbbq: either or
FetusXwXbbq: I take plastic too
FetusXwXbbq: just stick it in my hard drive.. i mean
FetusXwXbbq: paypal
SimplyGC94x: Hmm
SimplyGC94x: Plastic works
SimplyGC94x: Though I'm worried if you have a hard drive
FetusXwXbbq: kewl shit.. pleaz enter ur fake information in the box u've been typing in to talk to the psychotic dumbass... after u enter your fake information please follow that by
965.74 -full body (tits free)
26.50 -extra tongue movements
100.75 -bisexual upgrade (reduced from 101.75)
400.00 -heavy load shipping w/ snail mail.
.01 -Plump up lipgloss for those special nights
--------------------------------------------------
total $1493.00
FetusXwXbbq: total savings of 1.00
SimplyGC94x: Heavy load shipping??
SimplyGC94x: wtf is this shit?
FetusXwXbbq: sir calm down lol
FetusXwXbbq: I made a mistake
FetusXwXbbq: 200.00 snail mail. so deduct 200.00 from total
SimplyGC94x: hm ok
FetusXwXbbq: $1293.00
SimplyGC94x: SOLD
SimplyGC94x: Name: Ivana B. Female
SimplyGC94x: Address: 69 Climax Lane
SimplyGC94x: Moreheadville, PA 22304
FetusXwXbbq: Congratulations on you Juana-doo-me 1500 series. She will be shipped out to you after she pays off debts to her pimp. Approximate shipping will take 4 days 5 hrs 26 mins and 2 seconds. If you have any complaints, we have caller ID and will not answer. Your stuck with what you bought. (small print) not responsible if hygiene isn't to your liking. To resolve this, please insert Summers Ever Summer Breeze douche from the back end and flush out the Colon. Once again, Congrats on your purchase!
SimplyGC94x: Hahahaha
FetusXwXbbq: ;-) I think I'd be a great sales woman
SimplyGC94x: Definitely
SimplyGC94x: Small print and everything
SimplyGC94x: And you convieniently forget the customer after the sale
SimplyGC94x: Perfect
FetusXwXbbq: Very much so man. I can start a business and run it till I'm 6 feet under without a degree saying I could. I learned everything I need to know from Sesame Street.
SimplyGC94x: lol
SimplyGC94x: Well where else would you go to learn it
FetusXwXbbq: Well my dad always was pushing me to go to the crack dealers house. But I couldn't deal with the roaches.
SimplyGC94x: lol
SimplyGC94x: I gotta grab a shower, I'll be back
FetusXwXbbq: ok man.. have fun wanking ur winky cuz u know ur gonna do it after hearing bout the Juana-doo-me 1500 Series.. but watch the drain.. accidents happen
Auto response from SimplyGC94x: Shower ---> ????? ---> Bed
Are you in the middle?
FetusXwXbbq: yea I'm in the damn doorway... I do believe that's a good guess to be in between ur bed and shower.. :-) happy scrubbing and colon cleansing
Questions for the blog readers. Put your answers in the comments!
1) Would you have bought a Juana-doo-me 1500? If so, would you by it stock or full of wild extras?
2) Do you think I would be able to defeat SimplyGC94 in my quest to conquer the world using the magic powers of the McDonalds special Fry Salt?
3) How stupid do you think I am after reading this (honesty is appreciated)?
4) Would you ever give me drugs? Why or why not?
5) Well make up your own damn question and answer it!
Thanx for choosing CuntRag's Blogs of Normalities. Please come back and visit again, don't forget to message me with your own made up comment cards. Thanx again!
Your Very Own CuntRag!