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I will warn you all, there is alot of reading to this, and it will be to most of these. I've had so far 7 people read the starting and they are addicted, I guess it depends on who your are and how your humor is. Enjoy the starting of the Blogging Series of "CN&MC"! FetusXwXbbq: u WC'ing? SimplyGC94x: Not atm SimplyGC94x: What's up? FetusXwXbbq: wow.. well what are u doing with ur exciting self then.. just starring at the computer screen? FetusXwXbbq: nothing much man SimplyGC94x: Actually SimplyGC94x: I'm playing a different game SimplyGC94x: Much cornier SimplyGC94x: lol FetusXwXbbq: well.. i guess today is a corney ass day for u.. FetusXwXbbq: today is a.. "JUANA DAY" FetusXwXbbq: lol FetusXwXbbq: for me.. not n e one else SimplyGC94x: Juana day eh SimplyGC94x: lol FetusXwXbbq: well yea I guess for other ppl if they got a voice message from me about skat and water sports SimplyGC94x: skate or scat? SimplyGC94x: xD SimplyGC94x: The latter a bit scarier than the former FetusXwXbbq: i like spelling scat with a k.. makes me look stupid so i like it.. but yes sir I'm meaning scat.. shit on my chest scat FetusXwXbbq: ok .. dude FetusXwXbbq: hold on FetusXwXbbq: pause urself for a second SimplyGC94x: lol ok FetusXwXbbq: ok ur talking smart and shit.. just so u know.. u are talking to a drop out that got a GED (8th grade level shit) and smokes alot of pot.. so ebonics please SimplyGC94x: ok yo SimplyGC94x: what up dawg SimplyGC94x: xD FetusXwXbbq: nuttin much G-Fizzy.. how is the nizzy up in the hizzy? FetusXwXbbq: ok enough of that.. SimplyGC94x: guh-d SimplyGC94x: I know right SimplyGC94x: I can't talk like that SimplyGC94x: I have a hard enough time decoding it FetusXwXbbq: yea I live in the country where colored ppl aren't allowed or they get shot SimplyGC94x: Haha SimplyGC94x: I live close to the hood SimplyGC94x: Not in it but close enough to get the riff-raff FetusXwXbbq: hey make friends with a few.. come down here for vacation and i bet i can get rid of them in 3 hrs :-) SimplyGC94x: Welcome to Schenectady, where taxes, crime, and burden will plague thee FetusXwXbbq: well make friends with like 4.. I haven't went hunting in awhile and I'm sure my friends would love to play a lil game of dark meat hunt SimplyGC94x: Hahaha SimplyGC94x: I'd rather hunt deer but ok =P FetusXwXbbq: well we don't eat what we kill.. i know that is the only part that is illegal around here.. but.. we just hang em in trees.. especially this time of year it's the best.. ornaments SimplyGC94x: Eh SimplyGC94x: I don't like em as ornaments FetusXwXbbq: well aren't u just a hard one to please SimplyGC94x: They stink from the get-go and that rotting flesh thing just doesn't roll well with me FetusXwXbbq: shit I'd think it would be a great day and I was drinking coffee.. look outside and be like.. mom, that was one big bubbah I caught. FetusXwXbbq: she'd be like.. oh u learned well FetusXwXbbq: lmfao FetusXwXbbq: ok off racist subject before i get into puerto ricans lmao SimplyGC94x: lol SimplyGC94x: Aren't you rican? FetusXwXbbq: shhh we don't speak such things man FetusXwXbbq: rican blood is only flowing on one half of my body SimplyGC94x: lol SimplyGC94x: Which half? FetusXwXbbq: hold on let me check SimplyGC94x: lol SimplyGC94x: How does one check anyway SimplyGC94x: xD FetusXwXbbq: say these two lines, | |, is my body.. the rican blood flows on the left one FetusXwXbbq: I had to look at my buttcheeks SimplyGC94x: lmfao FetusXwXbbq: but the rican blood will be leaving my body shortly FetusXwXbbq: i will be paralized but I'd rather be that than a rican SimplyGC94x: You really hate it that much> SimplyGC94x: ? FetusXwXbbq: i hate my tan FetusXwXbbq: i hate my dark ass eyes FetusXwXbbq: i don't like my rican family at all SimplyGC94x: >.< FetusXwXbbq: I'm the leader of the JRHK SimplyGC94x: Joint Rican Hating Kommitee? SimplyGC94x: +t FetusXwXbbq: hmm that sounds better but NO BUDDY UR WRONG SimplyGC94x: -_- SimplyGC94x: What then FetusXwXbbq: Juana Rican Hating Klan... established during Nam.. SimplyGC94x: Haha SimplyGC94x: Pre-Juana SimplyGC94x: It was done not in your memory, but in your upcoming arrival FetusXwXbbq: I'm going to conquer one household at a time.. I am eventually going to rule the world, and there will be no ricans.. or n e cans for that matter SimplyGC94x: But cans are good FetusXwXbbq: why is that? they only are good in kitchens.. they should have a cot right next to the frier SimplyGC94x: lol SimplyGC94x: Your mind isn't in the correct gutter for that one FetusXwXbbq: :P FetusXwXbbq: :-P SimplyGC94x: Hehe FetusXwXbbq: I think ur my enemy.. but ur playing it off as if u aren't FetusXwXbbq: and ur going to stop me i know it SimplyGC94x: OMG SimplyGC94x: HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS FetusXwXbbq: cuz u talked to Ronald McDonald (my homeboy well not n e more) He backstabbed me by telling u that I can't live without the toys from the happy meals.. and ur gonna get rid of all happy meals and that will totally defeat me FetusXwXbbq: i know u know what ur gonna do to stop me, I'm just telling u what u already know SimplyGC94x: Well you see SimplyGC94x: He did more than backstab you with info SimplyGC94x: He backstabbed you by giving you different info than what he gave me SimplyGC94x: I know the REAL way to win FetusXwXbbq: oh.. i will defeat u with the McDonalds salt.. u know that's what everyone is addicted to.. I will be like Hitler and get an army together to take down both yours and Ronalds army like Jews SimplyGC94x: Hahaha SimplyGC94x: Ronald is not my ally SimplyGC94x: IT'S THAT DAMN PURPLE HEIFER HE'S ALWAYS WITH FetusXwXbbq: ronald fucked me over and told u shit.. u can have that wanna be ICP thug bitch SimplyGC94x: Psh SimplyGC94x: He owns you SimplyGC94x: We'll take you down SimplyGC94x: To Chinatown FetusXwXbbq: Chinatown is gonna be poisoning ur army with stir fried cat so I don't know where the hell ur getting off on this SimplyGC94x: Aw shit SimplyGC94x: I knew you had that up your sleeve SimplyGC94x: Very well, I'll just use my secret weapon FetusXwXbbq: mmhmm better watch it.. this drop out with a GED might show your egjdumacted ass up SimplyGC94x: lol SimplyGC94x: egjdumacted FetusXwXbbq: educated lol SimplyGC94x: I love that word SimplyGC94x: No I know FetusXwXbbq: sorry had to find Mr. Webster SimplyGC94x: I just love it SimplyGC94x: brb FetusXwXbbq: it looks like education in ejaculation.. all in one word FetusXwXbbq: ok FetusXwXbbq: and* not in.. grr SimplyGC94x: lol SimplyGC94x: Just like you to think of ejaculation SimplyGC94x: =P FetusXwXbbq: well yes sir FetusXwXbbq: it's my perverted ass nature to think of things like that right away.. SimplyGC94x: Hehe SimplyGC94x: I'm right with ya SimplyGC94x: xD FetusXwXbbq: kewl shit FetusXwXbbq: brb, I have to take 3/4 sip of my Lipton Green Tea with Citrus, Then I have to get around this childproof piece of shit lighter and light my cig, and I will be right back. SimplyGC94x: lol SimplyGC94x: Childproof FetusXwXbbq: ok back FetusXwXbbq: damn that shit is hard to figure out FetusXwXbbq: seems like they are IQ tests FetusXwXbbq: figured out the puzzle in 4 mins so I figure my IQ is prolly 145 if i could do it that fast SimplyGC94x: Hehehe SimplyGC94x: I did a couple of those things...they lie so bad FetusXwXbbq: aww they give u a 105? SimplyGC94x: They vary like 60 points SimplyGC94x: lol no that would mean it was right SimplyGC94x: xD FetusXwXbbq: don't be so down on urself because I'm smarter than u in areas where it counts SimplyGC94x: I never said you were dumb? O.o FetusXwXbbq: it will be ok.. i promise.. everything will be just fine eventually **hugs** SimplyGC94x: I just know I'm not the brightest bulb FetusXwXbbq: I never said u were dumb either FetusXwXbbq: I just said I was smarter SimplyGC94x: I don't doubt it SimplyGC94x: lol FetusXwXbbq: the part in the IQ test where it asks if ur female or male.. well if u pick female.. they start u out with an 85 IQ.. if u pick male.. well they only start u out with a 0.54821 IQ FetusXwXbbq: that's how the world works hun FetusXwXbbq: the "what's ur sex question" is really 80% of the test.. FetusXwXbbq: ok i did that wrong lemme redo plz SimplyGC94x: Haha SimplyGC94x: I'd kill to be female FetusXwXbbq: the "What's your sex" question. FetusXwXbbq: I'll give u my boobs FetusXwXbbq: u can have them for free.. what's ur addy i will give em to u for xmas.. don't send them back either FetusXwXbbq: give em away if u get bored FetusXwXbbq: or they aren't the right proportion.. no warranty on this SimplyGC94x: Hahah SimplyGC94x: I don't want just the boobs SimplyGC94x: I'll take the whole thing FetusXwXbbq: ok.. well it's like dell.. but it's already built, but if u need n e thing removed from ur order, pleaz feel free to let me know so ur 100% satisfied SimplyGC94x: No ty SimplyGC94x: Just send it FetusXwXbbq: ok well umm.. dude, shipping? FetusXwXbbq: my colon is not an atm SimplyGC94x: Hmm SimplyGC94x: Cash, check, money order? FetusXwXbbq: either or FetusXwXbbq: I take plastic too FetusXwXbbq: just stick it in my hard drive.. i mean FetusXwXbbq: paypal SimplyGC94x: Hmm SimplyGC94x: Plastic works SimplyGC94x: Though I'm worried if you have a hard drive FetusXwXbbq: kewl shit.. pleaz enter ur fake information in the box u've been typing in to talk to the psychotic dumbass... after u enter your fake information please follow that by 965.74 -full body (tits free) 26.50 -extra tongue movements 100.75 -bisexual upgrade (reduced from 101.75) 400.00 -heavy load shipping w/ snail mail. .01 -Plump up lipgloss for those special nights -------------------------------------------------- total $1493.00 FetusXwXbbq: total savings of 1.00 SimplyGC94x: Heavy load shipping?? SimplyGC94x: wtf is this shit? FetusXwXbbq: sir calm down lol FetusXwXbbq: I made a mistake FetusXwXbbq: 200.00 snail mail. so deduct 200.00 from total SimplyGC94x: hm ok FetusXwXbbq: $1293.00 SimplyGC94x: SOLD SimplyGC94x: Name: Ivana B. Female SimplyGC94x: Address: 69 Climax Lane SimplyGC94x: Moreheadville, PA 22304 FetusXwXbbq: Congratulations on you Juana-doo-me 1500 series. She will be shipped out to you after she pays off debts to her pimp. Approximate shipping will take 4 days 5 hrs 26 mins and 2 seconds. If you have any complaints, we have caller ID and will not answer. Your stuck with what you bought. (small print) not responsible if hygiene isn't to your liking. To resolve this, please insert Summers Ever Summer Breeze douche from the back end and flush out the Colon. Once again, Congrats on your purchase! SimplyGC94x: Hahahaha FetusXwXbbq: ;-) I think I'd be a great sales woman SimplyGC94x: Definitely SimplyGC94x: Small print and everything SimplyGC94x: And you convieniently forget the customer after the sale SimplyGC94x: Perfect FetusXwXbbq: Very much so man. I can start a business and run it till I'm 6 feet under without a degree saying I could. I learned everything I need to know from Sesame Street. SimplyGC94x: lol SimplyGC94x: Well where else would you go to learn it FetusXwXbbq: Well my dad always was pushing me to go to the crack dealers house. But I couldn't deal with the roaches. SimplyGC94x: lol SimplyGC94x: I gotta grab a shower, I'll be back FetusXwXbbq: ok man.. have fun wanking ur winky cuz u know ur gonna do it after hearing bout the Juana-doo-me 1500 Series.. but watch the drain.. accidents happen Auto response from SimplyGC94x: Shower ---> ????? ---> Bed Are you in the middle? FetusXwXbbq: yea I'm in the damn doorway... I do believe that's a good guess to be in between ur bed and shower.. :-) happy scrubbing and colon cleansing Questions for the blog readers. Put your answers in the comments! 1) Would you have bought a Juana-doo-me 1500? If so, would you by it stock or full of wild extras? 2) Do you think I would be able to defeat SimplyGC94 in my quest to conquer the world using the magic powers of the McDonalds special Fry Salt? 3) How stupid do you think I am after reading this (honesty is appreciated)? 4) Would you ever give me drugs? Why or why not? 5) Well make up your own damn question and answer it! Thanx for choosing CuntRag's Blogs of Normalities. Please come back and visit again, don't forget to message me with your own made up comment cards. Thanx again! Your Very Own CuntRag!
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