TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE
EVERYONE FELT SHITTY
EVEN THE MOUSE
MOM AT THE WHOREHOUSE
AND DAD SMOKING GRASS
I HAD JUST SETTLED DOWN
FOR A NICE PIECE OF ASS
WHEN OUT ON THE LAWN
I HEARD SUCH A CLATTER
I SPRUNG FROM MY PIECE
TO SEE WHAT WAS THE MATTER
WHEN OUT ON THE LAWN
I SAW A BIG DICK
HE CAME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
LIKE A BAT OUTA HELL
I KNEW IN A MOMENT HE HAD FELL
HE FILLED OUR STOCKINGS
WITH PREYZELS AND BEER
AND HAD A BIG RUBBER DICKIE
FOR MY BROTHER THE QUEER
HE ROSE UP THE CHIMNEY
WITH A THUNDEROUS FART
THE SON OF A BITCH
BLEW THE CHIMNEY APART
HE SWORE AND CUSSED
AS HE RODE OUTA SIGHT
PISS ON YA'LL
AND HAVE A HELL OF A NIGHT
I KNEW IN A MOMMENT
IT MUST BE ST.NICK
