Chapter 7 Two Crispy Bacon
Nate and Patsy pull into Vegas too soon to check in to a motel so they search for a coffee shop to have breakfast...preferably an old 70's style one. The waitresses are always cooler there and they will let you lounge for a few hours without bitching too much. They find one off the strip and pull in not only starving but completely dehydrated.
Patsy orders the Lumberjack Special (3 eggs, 2 crispy bacon strips, 2 sausage, hashbrowns, toast, pancakes, coffee, orange juice)...Nate orders the Spanish Omelette with a corn muffin on the side, coffee, cranberry juice. He loves bacon but always feels guilty ordering it...besides, Patsy will give him some of hers.
"SOOO... you've been very busy my pet! Do ya wanna blab now or wait til we're hammered later?
"I think this one will require a very large bottle of J.D. Pats...."
"OK! so idle chit-chat it is then!"
As they chatter mindlessly over breakfast, Patsy can't help but picture him as a reluctant father passively married to a useless tool of a woman and she feels a little sick...it's going to be hard getting through these pancakes. Farcy (her nickname for Darcy, although sometimes in text she spells it Farty) is already married and having an affair with Nate during the "separation". She doesn't believe for ONE second that they are truly separated however...Farcy is far too needy to let one man go without first shackling another to her spray tanned ankle.
As she makes a heroic effort on finishing her pancakes, she reminds herself to ask him if he KNOWS for sure it's his kid by drawing a star on her hand with a Sharpie from her bag. This is how she can get information from one side of her brain to the other when one side will be shut down...like at work or when getting shitfaced. Nate notices the Sharpie and groans audibly. Now he knows he will be faced with some ZINGERS during their drunken frenzy tonight...Patsy let out a high pitched witchy-pooh cackle as they both slap some cash on the table and go off on a quest to locate the seediest Motel with a pool.
Midnight drunken swims in the desert.....nothing like it in the world.
Chapter 8 Coin-Op Massager
WOW! The perfect Motel. How is it possible that they have never seen this one before??? Built in the 50's U-Shaped...Aquamarine stucco face with peeling pink trim...an old crucifix type antenna on the roof that was never taken down...orange neon sign sputtering " ACANCY"...a pool in the center of the U with a tragically inadequate safety fence...
a Winnibago with Alabama plates in the parking lot...
"QUICK! Run in Pats and make sure they have a room!!!"
She dashes out frantically before he even has a chance to come to a full stop and emerges a few minutes later waving an old school room key in the air like a Golden Ticket...
"NUMBER 6!!!"
"YOU ARE SHITTING ME!!!"
He yells from his open car window and parks as far away from the Winnebago as is possible. Six has been their lucky number since they were kids....it was the number roughly carved into the side of a shed they found out in the woods once.
Patsy is already sprawled face down on the King size bed with coin-op massager set on high as Nate huffs and puffs into the room carrying all of the bags. She lifts her face from the pillow just briefly enough to say in her lowest sultry voice..."DAHLING......they have the most humongous bathtub" then falls back down pretending to snore. He REALLY laughs for the first time on the trip and drawls..."I seen a Walmart yonder....fixin' to buy you some Mr. Bubble Missy!"
Nate putters aimlessly around the room opening & closing all the drawers looking for god knows what...turns on the TV then quickly turns it off...turns on all of the lights and then makes his way to the bathroom. He sees pilled but clean towels, a turquoise/cream scallop shaped faux marble sink and a HUGE beige spa type bathtub clearly installed LONG after the sink and chuckles to himself.
"COME TAKE A NAP WITH MEEEEEEEEE!"
He goes back to the room, turns out the lights, shuts the door, shuts the curtains and lays down next to her JUST as the coin-op massager sputters to a groaning halt.
Chapter 9 Onion Seeds
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