Its all about perspective
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Heather Craig
• Tue, Feb 25, 2014
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Upon reading a news article the other day, about a daycare provider being punished by law, for abusing the little ones in her care, and reading all of the public bashing in the comments between moms; the stay at home ones VS working mothers, I wanted to Hurl.
Let me further explain.
“What do YOU do all day, while I work my A$$ off?”
“Im not paying someone else to raise my kids, while I work.”
“Must be nice to have the luxury of doing nothing with your life.”
“Must be nice to have a bank roll to just blow on whatever your heart desires”
It was vicious, mean and horrible. One wrong by a provider brought out ALL the claws, and people lost focus on what really mattered. THAT daycare needed shut down, and those KIDS NEEDED someone to help them deal.
Instead, it created an attack fest…and made ALL mothers look like jerks!
Disturbing.
Arent we all in this, for the same outcome?
You live, raise your family the best you can. And you die.
Hopefully leaving some big shoes for the youngens in your own life to fill.
If you don’t leave big shoes…You FAILED.
Working, not working, blah blah….None of this matters, if you don’t make an impact on the children you cross paths with, be it your own kids, as well as every other kid you are in contact with.
5 minutes of your time, could leave an ever lasting impression.
BE THAT WOMAN!!!
Not the catty one, passing judgment, teaching value in assuming the worst about others.
Its sad to me. Mothers should Appreciate one another…Encourage each other. Uplift one another.
Instead there is this vicious battle in this world of worth, and being right and being wrong.
Life is hard enough, we sisters don’t need to make it even harder on each other.
Furthermore, children really learn what they live. We are all creatures of our surroundings of sorts. Being judgmental and mean, surely isn’t a lesson you should teach the little ones near to you. Weather you work outside the home or not.
I'm a stay at home mother. Chose to be one before I gave birth to my first child. That first child died at birth, leaving this lady an empty shell of dreams, cracked with my insides all leaked out. Humpty Dumpty of life. It really did take all the Kings horses and men to put me back together again.
I was given the King actually, a second chance. Which only solidified my determination to Be Mother, embrace every second of Mom, Miss as few moments of Mom as I could.
LIVE MOM…
For me, that meant, stay at home and nurture the lives I created.
I have, for 16 years had to defend this decision, and its sickening.
I don’t ask mothers who work outside the home who raises their kids, so their need to be someone, to earn money, can be fulfilled? I don’t instantly assume they work, for selfish reasons.
I understand we all take different paths in life, for different reasons driving us. Not so sure why others dont get this?
I respect a working mother a hellova bunch anyway. I couldn’t imagine the full time job of balancing all that needs balanced to work outside of the home AND be mom. I have never had the support, to be able to achieve this.
SUPPORT you ask?
Well, yeah. I need a reliable care taker for my kids. Not one who will simply go thru the motions of feeding and watering them like the little animals they are, but one who will instill morals, values, and worth into my children, as I do daily.
I do not have a husband with time, to help me maintain this home, and get kids to and from appointments, jobs and parties. He is a busy provider. His time is too precious wasting doing the things I do.
I do not have family I borrow, to fill in when I cant.
I have myself..and only myself to mother my kids.
I chose it to be this way.
But sometimes choices we make in life make things more complicated.
Being at home, complicates life.
As does trying to balance work/family.
I see a complicated pattern here.
Life alone is complicated, add adult choices and its over the top. Who has time to worry about others?
And its not fair for those who do work out side the home to ASSume, those of us who do stay at home, do nothing. We sit around and take advantage of the “luxury” of being MOM.
Luxury???
Sure thing. Its such a luxury to make the choice after an all day dentist appointment with a kid, as you pull into Starbucks, and have a 5 dollar bill to your name, to have to choose to buy the kid whose mouth is on fire from tightening of hardware, a Strawberry Frappe, or to treat yourself to your guilty pleasure Vinti Whole Milk White Mocha.
The coffee treat I drool when I think of.
The one thing, I would trade my best dress sweats to have.
The luxurious truth?
The Mom in me takes over every time. The metal mouthed teenager then slurps whipped cream as I take in the aroma of the coffee bean attached to her cup, while the salty sweetness of that Brownie cake pop I almost always have enough quarters and dimes in the bottom of my purse to purchase painfully gets nibbled at, as she takes her sweet time to consume. After all it took 20 MINUTES to kill the whipped cream, first.
How bout the luxury of buying groceries? Every single trip sends me into a panic. Food is expensive. My monsters, are fat kids inside, and I ALWAYS worry Ive over bent the checking account every time I buy Bread. (bread? Riiiight, cause you can go in the store for JUST bread?)
The luxury of NO SELF??
All I have become in this life is…
Theirs.
Im mom.
Daltons mother
Mikaylas Mum
Donnie’s wife.
The “ole lady.
That is Me, in a nutshell.
Not sure even what my name is anymore. Mom seems fitting.
Im not CEO, Im not Accountant, Im not Manager, or teller or fork operator, nurse or fire man. Im…MOM.
This is not luxurious actually. I spend all of my time and energy in life being Mom and wife, and seriously cannot afford to treat myself to Starbucks most weeks.
But my children WANT for nothing, and NEVER do without what they NEED. That’s my job…
Yes, we have food, we have shelter, we have all we need to survive, and I will be the 1st to tell you I am RICH in life, beyond any $ amount stamped on my worth. My husband does work his fingers off to provide. I work my tail off to make sure things run smoothly here at home.
Together we make it happen. Life Isn't all about luxury though. To me, I am where I am supposed to be. And...Its comfortable.
MY STORY…
YOUR story..
Has a complete different author tho. I don’t know your sacrifices, your goals, your definition of success. If your idea of success is climbing the corporate ladder, GOOD FOR YOU.
And if we are connected in the slightest, you already know who to call when you need help with the kids.
Its not fair for ME to Judge YOU.
You see, It takes an entire village to raise a child, even when mom is at home to do it. I cannot be with my children 24/7 no matter how much of my time I donate to the cause, and neither can any of the other mothers out there. I NEED the help of all of the other moms out there, doing their jobs, to inform me when they see something I should be concerned about when it comes to my kids.
Before you judge anyone, perhaps you should check yourself.
Generally if you are judging “someone” or “something” you are truthfully battling your OWN demons.
Real life.
I firmly believe having someone nurture the future America is JUST AS IMPORTANT as having a roof over their heads. And so is the Dr, who saves lives, or the nurse who aids, Or the super kind lady who runs the second hand clothing store, to make life a little more affordable for the rest.
To pull this off…the BALANCE in life, it takes a team. There is NO I in team, nothing SELFISH about true motherhood, and absolutely no reason we women should bash each other for being lazy or for not caring enough about your children to stay home and raise them. There is no need to Assume because a woman needs/wants to devote most of her time to a job outside of the home, she materialistic or puts her own needs first. Moms who stay home with the kids, aren't all on welfare either.
We should unite, and focus. And never lose sight of what REALLY matters in this life, and that is WE ARE ALL A LIVING EXAMPLE for the little people, and our real jobs are making a difference in this world. This world will someday be run by the village of little people that will fill the shoes of those before them.
So, WHOEVER you are, be the best you can…and Pretty please, don’t judge. Don’t ASSume.
There simply isn’t time for all of that nonsense; we have a future America to raise. And that takes ALL of us United, to do properly. They are watching us, learning how to react, how to live, how to handle diversity with dignity.
And within EVERY SINGLE MOTHER we hold the ability to SHOW our children how.
Really, the only debate about working mom VS the at home mom, lies within MOM.
We sincerely should be more kind to one another.
