Well I slept very little last night and am a bit still tired today. I guess I have alot on my mind these days. I haven't been high in over a month now...lol Which in a lot of ways is a good thing I guess. I haven't drank a beer in over 9 months as well as for me having sex...I haven't had any in about 3 years to be honest if you don't count my hand lol.
while its on my mind I know I have no chance in hell in the one thing I dream about everynight. Meeting a woman that likes guys and other woman as well. Being able to have a 3sum with her and another woman.
like people really say today...Dreams never do come true just like things in life.But like I say (It never hurts to try).
I just don't get it, Hell people like my so called best friend sit there and bullshit their way through life and lie and steal and use others and then they all kiss his or her ass right afterwards. But me i d things the right ways and the best I can, and I get hurt in the end.
Heres an exmaple and the truth as well. The last woman I was with, I more less did everything for her and her famaily... I cleaned the entire house cuz they were to lazy to. I cooked everynight cuz no one else would. I did everything the young lady asked me to even when she got mad at me for seening my family and friends I stayed at home with her. I worked 16 to 18 hours a day for fast food at the time and when I got paid I would buy her ings out of my heart cuz because i thought she would like them and cuz I wanted to show I cared butat the end. She wanted to lie on me and hurt me and screwed my life up.
Its pretty bad I was sicker than a dog running a temp of 103.2 and I cooked for her cleaned the bedroom done the dishes and even washes everybody clothes and folded them and put them away while she ran with her friend all day instead of sitting around being with me.
I just don't get why I be myself when everyone around me just either uses me pushs me around or runs me into the ground for. you know what I mean...
