about Myself. I am sure that a lot have noticed that I comment/joke about My looks. I've had some even bring mention to it. I do it mostly out of jest. I've never been one to have very good self esteem though either. I already know that I'm not "all that" or "built" (if you know what I mean). It is My way to keep My hopes ever from getting too high about Myself and not have to put the emotion out there if possible to keep from being hurt more than I have. I've been through way too much rejection in My life. I've only had 4 relationships "long term" at all and they all cheated on Me at least once. ALL of My relationships were mostly due to My, I guess you could say, sexual abilities though. (And actually I've grown to the point that I just don't even care if I find someone and that's all they want anymore.) And I've been turned down more times than I can even count by other women. And when you get told by your own father as a teenager that if it were known you were going to be born with so many medical issues you wouldn't have been born (yeah he was drunk but that's the only time he would have had the guts to actually say it), you have a tendency to not think very highly of yourself.