SN1P3RMAS13LLO's blog: "Stuff"

My dark thoughts......
Silence
Only tears
As I press the blade
Against my pale skin

Red
The blood flows
From the wounds
Echoing my inner pain

Satisfaction
As I feel the knife
Slicing into me
I only deserve pain

Anguish
As I realize what I've done
I feel accomplishment
As I gaze at the marks upon my skin

Stares
People are horrified
Don't understand why
Neither do I

Lord, where are You?
If You really do exist,
why don't You come out of hiding and
do something about this creature in distress?

I am physically weary, I am mentally depressed,
I am spiritually defeated.
I can't eat, can't sleep.
I am like garbage,
discarded refuse in the back alley;
like yesterday's newspaper
shuffled around by the wind.
I feel like some sort of zombi,
some non-entity,
some nothing that people,
if they acknowledge,
would only curse.

i often catch myself constantly wondering how you are, sitting alone with my mind
set far, reminiscing about your smile, voice and touch...damn this life, i'm missing
you too much
i have heard from the phone company, the water company, and the electric company...
but i haven't heard from you...too bad it's your company i missed the most!

i always think of the things i might have missed if we haven't met, but since time
gave us the chance to meet, i'm now thinking how i'm gonna spend it so i won't miss you.

if i could write a million reasons to tell you why i miss you, i would. but i have
limited space so i'd cut it short,"there's no other person in this world who makes
me smile the way you do".

when you miss someone, your heart starts to shout that person's name...for some
reason, my heart just won't stop shouting your name....i guess you're smart enough
to figure out what i mean...

i'll wrap my arms around you and squeeze you until your eyes pop up and all your
bones break and your face turns blue. that's my gigil hug when i'm missing you.

it's not the content of your messages that soothes me, it's not the jokes
that makes me happy. but rather the thought of somehow, in your busy life,
you still remember me.

If I disturb you, sorry. But I need to say.... I miss you...

I know that its not right to love you for loving you would mean a
relationship torn into two, but what can I do my heart is with you that
drives me to you and keep on missing you

I miss you so much that it comes to a point that I'm dying coz I can't see you,
feel you, speak to you or touch you. But I'm happy coz the more I'm hurt missing you,
the longer I fight to live because of you!

...oh yah, oh yah...
If ever you wondered if you touched my soul yes you do
Since I met you I'm not the same
You bring life to everything I do
Just the way you say hello
With one touch I can't let go
Never thought I'd fall in love with you...
Because of you, my life has changed, thank you for
the love and joy you bring
Because of you, I feel no shame, I'll tell the world
it's because of you
Sometimes I get lonely and all I gotta do is think of you
You captured something inside of me
You make all of my dreams come true
It's not enough that you love me for me
You reached inside and touched me eternally
I love you best explains how I feel for you..
The magic in your eyes
True love I can't deny
When you hold me I just lose control
I want you to know that I'm never letting go
You mean so much to me I want the world to see,
It's because of you

Drowning......
I'm swimming all alone in a pool of darkness
and I feel like darkness is slowly pulling me under
I yell for help but no one is there to hear it
I begin to see the water at eye level
and I kick and flail
fighting to stay above the darkness
But the darkness won't let go of its hold on me
and I slowly begin to give in
to the feeling that lies below the water line
the waters starts to fill my lungs
the lungs that once held so much life
yet now they allow the murky water to replace that
I know that this path doesn't lead to happiness
But why doesn't someone grab my hand
pull me from darkness's grasp?
because no one knows I stand at the boundary
the boundary between light and dark
so I give in to the thing that holds me
All of the strength and all of the courage
that I once held in my heart
can't save me from the water
So I slowly slip below the world of conscientiousness
undetected by the occupants of that world
I don't want to fight anymore
I've given into darkness

Violence......
Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted
So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted
Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number's unlisted
Lost in someone so warped & twisted
On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm not gone, my mind has drifted
Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted
Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped & twisted