Hello, my name is Steven and I enjoy being periodically tasered by random law enforcement agencies from around North America. Next year I am planning a trip to Burundi, presently their police are not equipped with taser guns, however, they tend to make due with a box spring and car battery.

So I am excited about that, naturally.

People seem to be interested in race on these things, so allow me to give you a quick run down of my lineage.

My father was born in Nicaragua in 1953 and came down with bacterial diarrhea before he was 8 months old. At the age of 4 he was already working as a peanut farmer for 18 Córdoba or (2 cents) every 3 complete monthly orbital motions of the moon.

By the time he was 17 he was able to fill a mason jar to the brim with his savings. It was a proud moment, and when people say I have a strong work ethic, you won't need to ask why.

My mother was raised in Timisoara Romania, while originally born in Winooski Vermont she was kidnapped by a rouge sect of Hungarian Jesusit Priest and indoctrinated into the sex slave business before the age of 32.

And this is how my parents met each other, and here I am...a product of their love, devotion and sacrifice.

I haven't seen either of them since I was 9, I hope they are doing well and I am Caucasian.

Oh yes, education and employment ... I have received my Masters in Bioengineering, a Bachelor's Degree in Civil Law and currently 1 semester away from attaining my PhD in Political Science and I work at a soft baked Pretzel stand in the mall.

Sex....hmmmm. Well, I'm not really into all the kinky stuff.

Scrotum suspension, Barbed wire anal beads, Cock binding, Habanero sensual oil therapy, is completely fine....but all that freaky stuff is out of the question, sorry.

Hope to hear from you!

-- Steven

Postscript: I've refused to name my penis because I enjoy psychologically abusing my cock. It has no identity of it's own, therefore it is under my complete control.

S.