In a cruel twist of fate, we've been robbed of a final five, tonight watching the field trimmed from the top six to the remaining four.
Cruel.
But whatever gets this show moving quickly toward the finale is good enough.
Because THIS is American Idol. And this is a SIMULBLOG, where I'm writing as the action is happening, with publishing at every break, so if you're not watching and you're not in the mood to have the executees revealed before you're ready, it might be a good idea to exit stage left. But remember to come back and complain with the rest of us.
Ryan promises no filler (ahem) in yet another 60-minute results show that is about 50 minutes too long. After all, we must make room for Jon Bon Jovi, who mentored the kids this week (acceptable) and for Robin Thicke, who has absolutely no reason to be on stage except that he has a CD to hawk. This crap is getting so old.
Highlights from last night = not filler.
Random person on the street reviews of last night = not filler.
Ryan/Judges tit-for-tat = not filler.
Random questions posed to contestants = not filler.
Ruben Studdard pitching (on tape) Idol Gives Back = I thought they gave back last week. Why are they still giving back?
Commercial = paying the bills.
Review of last week's charitable extravaganza = so not filler.
Performance by Robin Thicke, #1 on the charts = another waste of a Daughtry, #1 on the charts for a gazillion weeks, visit.
Fantasia urging people to give back with Idol = getting redundant.
And it's time to execute somebody for the first time in two weeks. After the break...
Number six is gonna bite the big one in the first half of the [excrutiatingly long] episode, getting gypped of the opportunity to close the show, the least of the traditions these kids deserve. Oh well, I'm tired of complaining.
Melinda, Phil and LaKisha are asked to the seal.
Melinda gets her reviews from the night before and after a combined total of 135 million votes, Melinda is safe.
Phil and LaKisha stand arm in arm.
They are given their reviews, and LaKisha is told she's safe.
Phil is a goner.
He gets to watch his funeral video and he proves, once again, that prophetic songs are the kiss of death on this show. He goes out in A Blaze of Glory. Ryan Seacrest told Ellen DeGeneres this week that this is the first group of kids that really and truly loves each other. I think the scene after Phil's ejection proves that to be true.
So long, Phil.
It's the challenge!! Pick C!
Jordin, Blake and Chris are told to stand, but Jordin is given an early pardon, considering the crap that they put her through last week. Chris and Blake are told to hang on for the next 15 minutes or so, cause it's time for BonJovi, and we can't let the star wait for silly Idol business.
BonJovi performs, and I actually enjoy the song. Definitely not filler.
Taylor Hicks is telling people to give back. Where in the hell were Ruben, Fantasia and Taylor last week? Oh yeah. No time for them. Outranked by Ben Stiller.
Chris says he and Blake are best buds and that he'd even go home for him. They're asked if they want to swap the results. Both say no.
And with that Chris is sent home. He gets to see his funeral footage to the sound of Daughtry, but is happy that they'll all be on tour together.
So long Chris.
Next week Barry Gibb is in the house. Last time one of the Brothers Gibb made an AI appearance, we were treated to an abundance of BeeGees tunes. But, of course, that was season two. We'll see how the three gals and the beatboxer fare.
See you then.
Please, discuss.
