I'm pretty much the biggest loser you'll ever encounter. I usually
trip when I go down the stairs and I always seem to forget to brush
my hair. I'm the type of person that could lecture you on
JavaScript and quantum mechanics but doesn't have the slightest
clue as to who's marrying whom in the celebrity world. I think the
background on one's computer defines them as a person and I can
never seem satisfied with mine. I search for hour after hour for a
good, defining picture and none seem to fit. One day I will find
the perfect picture, just wait. I'm an insomniac...like really. I
don't use Windows because I'm cooler than you. I've lived in my
house for a little more than a year and have still failed to
decorate it. I really enjoy shopping for school/office supplies and
refrigerators. My handwriting hasn't changed since I was in primary
school and I've always hated it. I am the kind of person that
doesn't pick out their clothes at night and is always late for
work. I don't know how to drive in the rain or flare my nostrils.
Can't wink either. I usually lie about my name, "Kaitlyn" doesn't
fit. I'm really bad at painting my nails. I drink my coffee black.
My computer will kick your computer's ass any day. I was a really,
really, ridiculously ugly kid. I smoked for 4 years before I beat
the school record for fastest mile. I like apples. Red ones, not
green. I don't believe in love. Styrofoam cups and I don't get
along. Nudity is fun so why not? I have horrible vision. I can't
sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. I seriously suck at flirting
with guys. I like picking out underwear. Sex is fun. <--Does not
make me a whore. I have 12 to 13 piercing depending on the day of
the week. I don't like being called cute. I like to think I'm good
at dancing. I don't have an eating disorder (yay for me!). I think
I have multiple personalities I'm not aware of. I suck at
gardening. It's really hard to be vegan. Six pack don't impress me,
in fact, I couldn't care less about six packs. Reversible ceiling
fans irk me. Coloured pencil packs with more than 12 colours are
pointless. I'm almost constantly cold. The HP 50g is the best
calculator out there. It's very hard to motivate me. I fall asleep
in very odd places. I don't value money nearly as much as I should.
I find all forms of decoration completely arbitrary. I'm utterly
astounded by Hitler. I think Ron Paul is a god, but we'd all die if
he ever becomes president. I'm really not allowed to talk about
politics because I don't vote. I am not a beautiful and unique
snowflake, and I'm not going to change the outcome of the election.
I NEVER get in relationships. Meaningless sex is definitely the way
to go. I am extremely attracted to sociopaths and people who smoke.
I think I'm pretty incredible.

Give me rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism.