I wish my dog would learn to chew with his mouth shut. The fuckin' manners on dis guy!

These mosquitoes are out their MINDS! I suppose we all gotta eat though.

God if you give us Ryan Dunn back , we will give you Justin Bieber

‎ Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.....

If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now

Osama's last Facebook post: "BRB...someone's at the door."

USMC: if everyone could do it, it would be the army..

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