For reference, I'm suuuuuper gay

*pokes her head in all sneaky beaky like*

Back for a bit. Let the inbox avalanche commence.

DUDES: "Hi sexy/beautiful/gorgeous" won't get you anywhere and honestly nothing else will either.

I know this is the internet but try speaking to me as if we are meeting face to face. Guaranteed you don't talk like this to people you meet in real life.

Sooo tired!

JFC what is wrong with people this morning?

I love the ladies and the ladies love me!

Show me your boobies!

Hell of a week. I need a massage.

I just feel so blah.

Can one die of tired?

If you are a male messaging me to find a girlfriend that isn't gonna happen so keep moving

My name is neither sexy nor babe.

Flattery will get you nowhere but I am susceptible to bribery

I'm not interested in men, let alone old, fat men. Stop being gross.

If you're old enough to be my dad, you shouldn't be hitting on me. If you're old enough to be my mom, carry on! ;)

Dudes, try talking to me like you would another dude.

I'm like the McRib: delicious, fatty and available for brief limited periods of time.

I heart boobies!