Don't like my status because it has the word fuck in it Like it because it says the word fuck in it twice!

My dad said I'll go blind if I don't quit masturbating. I said dad I'm over here!

He's a testicle shitting rectal wart! Eat pangin shit you ass spiloncer!

Words on a status.

Jizz guzzling slut! The ugly bitch has crabs in her eyebrows! I'm so done wasting words on that smelly pirate hooker!

I have great news! I have a mammogram scheduled. That means hot lady Dr. Will be feeling on my boobies! Yeah! Hee...hee... I know I'm going to giggle. The idle mind is the devil's play thing. Hail Satan😝

On the other side of fear is everything you want.

I'm horny...Anyone into giving me a meat injection?

He's here!!! I needed a hero. He's a solider just like me. I'm so excited I can barely sit still. I got a fever for the flavor of a military man! He smells like sandle wood and toughness. That dong will be mine. He asked me to marry him. With his balls on my forehead. That's classy!

Noassatall is a horrible affliction that happens to some women. When I die I plan to donate my ass to those girls who suffer from noassatall. It's called a Brazilian butt lift. I saw it on Dr 90210. That's when they suck the fat from you body and put it in your ass cheeks.

I love being naked.

In my epic quest to see a titty, I finally got to see some. Both of my roommates showed me their naked bodies. It was cool. I know it was glorious! One set had tiger stripes and the other was kinda long. Old titties can roll up and I still want to see them. Miss perky shined. I wish she knew how pretty she actually is. I'll get that titty pic soon.

How many ones and zeros does it take to get to pi?

A son told his father he was going to receive a call from his school. The father asked why and the son said he was in line during lunch and there was a note on a blow of apples the note said take only one god is watching. They placed a blow of cookies. I wrote my own note. It said, "Take all you want gods busy watching the apples!"

A man was laying naked on the ground. With a hat covering is penis. The woman walking by looked at him and said"If your any kinda man you'll lift your hat to a beautiful woman." The man replied, " If you were sexy and beautiful the hat will lift by its self!"

When birds shit on my car. I eat eggs in front of them so they know what I'm capable of. car.

I feel like pounded shit on a stick. How you get pounded shit is simple. Take a clip of a horse apple that's a little moist. Take your stick and shove it threw the middle. Take your time.. Once completed. Throw it on the ground and step on it.. And, there you have it.

Eight, six, nine, twelve, fourtyseven, Ninety, one times one is elevendy and that's a magic number!

Hey babe lemmy put it in your butt. Romantic I know right. He's a true artist with words.

I want to slob on a knob. . .yes.a full on mouth party for your doink. I miss the taste of clean skin. I like to rub it on my face and make him giggle. The best thing just happened, he asked me to marry him with his nuts on my forehead. The proposal touched my heart. And, it just goes to show true romance isn't lost.