Bender gatekeeperheaven and earth's blog: "almostalien"

As a race of people we are raised to know someday we will die . As we grow and are old enough to understand we are told and some taught , that someday we will go to another place called heaven . That we never really die that our soul which is the best in us will be released from this body and we will go to this place that is nothing but good . And if we are not good our souls will be lost and in the dark . And in the fires of Hell some others believe . We are all trying to get to a better place that most of us believe is better then here . And any mistakes that we make we can ask for forgiveness and everything will be alright . We talk often about God the creator or Jesus or many other names for the one that creates all the things that are in the universe . But many have families and the sadness of having them leave this place is a sadness that is remembered at birthdays ,  Christmas and all the rest . It never seems to go away it is always there in a song a place you once shared with them or a old photograph of them . We remember how sad it is they are not with us anymore . But if you truly believe in a God a creator and a place  better then this consider . Do you get sad when the ones you love buy a new house or have a new born baby . Are you happy when there life is better then yours ? Most people think this way I think ? I understand the grief because of the loss . I have had many things that I would of traded places with for them to live and to let me leave instead . But it's never our choice really . Yes there is suicide but just the word alone sounds bad to me and I think that would put you in a bad place when you leave . But sometimes God gives us choices there are many that give up the fight of staying here with disease like cancer and pains that are so unbearable that you just say to the doctor let me go I am to old have had a good life know were I am going it's OK . I have had that happen to me over the years . And the comforting thing about it was I could feel happy for them I even made a joke to them about something that always bothered him and I told him I loved him and I would see him when I got there even if it was just to visit . It was my step dad . My mother is from Germany and they like everything a certain way for as long as I could remember my step dad would wear tee shirts he had favorites to wear and some had holes in them . Not a good thing for my mom . She would say things like you embarrass me wearing that shirt with the hole . She would buy him new ones but he would wear his favorite one once in awhile with the hole . This went on for the 40 years they were together . My mom is tough she went threw world war 2 as a 21 year old she lost a lot of people including her first husband . Her father was arrested for being friends with people of the Jewish faith so she was tough . Well earlier in my step dads life he had cancer at about forty but they gave him treatment and it was gone . But we brought him to the hospital because he said he was getting tired all the time . We brought him in the hospital on friday he was dead by Sunday he was full of cancer . I remember seeing him laying there looking at my mother at the foot of the bed . Still being the tough one a little tearing up but not bad . I was on the left side up at my step dads head . He was looking at my mom almost to be thinking nice to have you shed a tear for me but I new he loved her she loved him . So I told him how great he was to me better then my real father was and I loved him . After that I leaned up at him and whispered at least you won't have to listen to her talk about the hole in your tee shirt anymore . He looked at me and smiled and said you know your right . I then said my good byes and left him and my mom alone until the end . I myself believe in were I am going . I am not afraid of death. I have much to learn when I leave this place. More then just the usual . So if I make it before you , to go to this better place don't be sad I will see you when you get there , even if it's only for a visit to ask you how you liked my stories and to laugh . And with a eternity who knows I will take you to the places in the universe I have already seen  experience the wonders of the heavens above and say see all your sadness of people you thought were gone are all right here . Lets go see them !