Cavaleiro das Trevas's blog: "Shut up and listen"

perhaps it wasn't just change that brought you to me
perhaprs it was destined
I want to fall asleep next to you again
and to be woken up by your kisses

your sixth sense longs for me
I know we will be reunited
your smile is stamped in my memory
soon our path will meet again
My heart is in your hands
Don’t let me fall
My heart is in your hands

here is a poem of my heart felt pain
here is a song to you
remember our pictures during diner
remember our night in the desert

I remember you
You are always with me
My heart is yours

I hope to see you again
It doesn’t matter what they say
I miss your smell
I miss your body
I will always have you within me
My heart is yours

be careful
My heart is in your hands

With every one being on the military bandwagon lately I am a little concerned as to what I am about to say, or how it will come out. With that being said here it goes:

For the past 8 years I have been an Infantry Marine, have reached the rank of Staff Sergeant in 7 years, and have done 2 deployments to Iraq, 2 to Afghanistan, and 1 to the Horn of Africa. Recently I was asked what my MOS (Military Occupation Specialty) was. I replied “in a nutshell, ‘infantry’” to receive back the “oh so you are bullet sponge.” I must not be a very good bullet sponge because in my 5 deployments I never absorbed a single bullet.

I have never been the type to tell war stories, post pictures of myself with guns, or even put pictures of myself in uniform on line (although I have done all of the above to with a select few).  Marine infantry is what I do, not who I am. I have found that those who talk too much and bolster about their heroism are phonies or exaggerators at best.   Our society is one of war, and because we are a society of war we praise and exact our warriors. No wonder there are so many phony war heroes out there. Ironically every Vietnam Marine I have ever met have been Recon Marines, I guess we didn’t have administrative clerks, Intelligence analyst, grunts (sorry bullet sponges), Radio operators, Mechanics, bulk fuel, and so on. All Marines back then were Recon Marines.

I never subscribed to the whole “this branch is better than that branch”, “SEALS are tougher then Rangers”, “Rangers are better than Marines” and certainly never did I believe “Marines are better than everyone else.” Yet there are those who do, who talk about that and often even believe it. Even within the Marine Corps there is the “this MOS is tough or more important than that MOS.” To call a Marine a POG (People Other than Grunts) is pretty insulting. All MOS are needed and vital to the cause, just as every branch is needed and vital to the cause.

Remember, there is no “real” military or one branch is better than another. We are a society of warriors, ironically only about 10% of our military are real warriors. Even if you don’t fall in that 10%, the 10% would not be able to fight efficiently without the other 90%. 90% thank you for what you do, when was the last time someone in your MOS was awarded a Service Cross, Navy Cross, Air Force Cross, or a Congressional Medal of Honor? I don’t want your MOS, I am Damn sure you don’t want mine, let’s leave it at that.

I do present to you this thought: When you think of a Soldier, or a Marine what comes to mind?

you keep score of all my wrong doing.

You collect all my weaknesses

      then you throw them on my face

you take my strengths

      turn them around

      then you throw them on my face

yet, I can't do that to you

      it isn't fair

I keep looking back to myself and wondering what happened? I remember; I was a happy go lucky guy and never down or sad. The
truth is, that is how I used to be. Suddenly in the summer of 08 when everything changed, I don't even really know why.
I remember walking back to my room after 12-14 hours of work in the
heat, tired both physically and mentally wishing that one year would fly by. Wishing that I would wake up and a year would be gone. Before then I never felt that way. I loved every minute of my life not matter what was happening. I never wanted time to pass because I enjoyed that moment and wanted to enjoy it more.
Something happened to me.

Some would call the earthquake of Jan 11th in Haiti a tragedy. As you know a tragedy like those of ancient Greece plays are events that unfold in front of our eyes that bring about emotions of significant magnitude, emotions of fear and pity. When tragedies happen human beings pull together, it is our animalistic instinct to seek comfort in the pack.

Perhaps that is what "George Clooney and Amigos" (Rebel Wolf-Dark fire) are trying to do, find strength in the pack by seeking comfort from the fear and pity brought about by a tragedy.

I simply call the earthquake of Jan 11 2010 in Haiti... population control.

I suppose I could simply make a list of the reason it is good to be single but that would do it no justice. I know that there are those out there who do not like being single and feel some sort of pressure from others or society as a whole because they are single and "time is running out."

I do not find peer pressure to influence me or my decision which makes it even easier not have a "significant other" to pressure me. Friends you can shrug them off a significant other is more difficult to do so.

My days are very busy, very full with little time to myself. I enjoy getting up in the morning and knowing that I have a sort of list of things to accomplish that day and if something does not get finished I just add it to the list for tomorrow. On that list is never "text my significant other" because if I don't my significant other will think it slipped my mind. Don't you think there is something wrong these days with texting? Those are brief and often thoughtless messages almost as if putting a check in a box. To me taking the time to make a phone call that requires more thought and actual effort.

I can come home at whatever time I want. Sometimes I have to stay late at work, sometimes I have to go to the library to finish an assignment, sometimes I just want to stay out and the best part about it... I don't have to answer to anyone.

At the gym a friend I haven't seen in literally 10 years suddenly showed up and invited me to go grab a drink later on, I can simply go, no ifs, but, no let me check, I simply know I can because my schedule is open and I want to.

As I sit here in front of the fire place with my dog by my feet and the lap top.... well on top of my lap, I think about how great it is to be single.

that's my thought for the day.... you may speak now.