SexiMomma's blog: "poems"

Slow Tears I look up as a tear rolls slowly down my cheek I think about better days and wonder if I'll feel that way again you look at me with those eyes I know so well always serious, so deep and insightful as though you're always in control But not today not now Now you look so scared like for once you don't have the answer I gaze at you looking deep into those blue eyes Hoping to understand why you've said those things you did I wonder for a moment if this is all a dream if I shall wake in the morning and be relieved you look at me with a confusion I have never seen slowly pull me towards you and wipe the tears from my cheek

A Lesson I've learned a lot of lessons In the short time I have lived I've learned how to appreciate And I've learned how to give. But in these past few months There's two I'll remember most I've learned how to love And I've learned to let go. You entered my life with such a force And left it with one as strong And though we tried to make it last We both knew it wouldn't be long. I lie at night and think about How I'm the one to blame. If only I would have trusted you, I could have missed this pain. And so I spent each day of my life With my heart in pieces And when I thought it could never be cured, Something happened; I expected it least. I guess my soul was all cried out, And it was tired of being used. And even though I know I'm guilty, I was tired of being accused. And so I've learned to end this Without an urge to cry These are my final words to you, "I love you and goodbye."

What Do They Know I face the world with a smile, no one knows what is hid inside. They see only happiness, they cant see the tears I've cried. When I am alone I hurt, because here I do it well. In front of all the watchful eyes my heaven turns to hell. The judge and jury awaits me, everyone has a say. In a life that hangs suspended for yet another day. Who are they to judge if what I have done is right or wrong? In the end I gave him up, but inside still sing his song. I don't know how to find the strength I thought I had. If only I could play tough it wouldn't be so bad. They say that life goes on and someday I'll smile again. But, how do they know my pain without being where I've been? I've traveled so far from home, and can't find my way back. Somewhere along the way I must have jumped the track.

Mommy's Little Baby Mommy's little baby is not really far away I'm keeping you in my heart and that's how it's gonna stay! Although you didn't meet me and look into my eyes Mommy will be thinking of you when I look up in the skies And when I feel the sunshine ... shining down on me I will know you're safe & happy and where you have to be I have so many questions and there are no answers to find But don't think for just a second that you'll ever leave my mind You my precious angel made a mommy out of me But our Father up in Heaven chose to raise you instead of me God must have so much in store and wonderful plans for you So I will carry this burden of pain so all your dreams come true! So don't you cry any tears my love - be happy and be free When God decides it's time....you will meet Daddy and me You are very special both here and in heaven above No matter where you are my angel you have Daddy & Mommy's Love!

I'm Sorry I'm sorry for everything you've been through It must've been very hard on you I'm sorry for all that's been said and done I was the moon, you were the sun I'm sorry for not making everything right But the situation I was in, was very tight I'm sorry for not lending you a hand If only I could be a better friend I'm sorry if it seemed like I didn't care Lucky for you, your special-friend was there I'm sorry for breaking your heart For forgiveness, where do I start?

If I Could Make A Wish If I could make a wish And have it last forever and a day, I would take you in my arms And this is where I'd stay.. For there's no one else I know That holds my heart like you, And I know someday, baby, You'll realize this is true. If I could make a wish Your lips would be on mine, I'd slowly sip and savor you Like only the finest wine. For there's no one else I know That gives me so much pleasure, And I know someday, baby, You'll see that you're my treasure. If I could make a wish Our bodies would unite, There's nothing I'd love more Than making love all night. For there's no one else I know Who gives me passion like you do, And I know someday, baby, All my wishes will come true. If I could make a wish I'd start by making things right, I'd take away all your doubts, And hold you through the night. For there's no one else I know That means as much you see, And I know someday, baby, You'll learn to trust in me. If I could make a wish. It would be just you and me, No worries in the world, Just happy as can be. For there's no one else I know Who with me, makes the perfect rhyme, And I know someday, baby, In another place in time. If I could make a wish I'd go to the next lifetime to be with you, I know that you're my soulmate, There's no doubt I know it's true. For there's no one else I know That is my destiny, I know I'm meant for you, And I know you're meant for me.

My Heart Believes In You I kept my head up high, and then you came my way. I have been hurt so many times. My heart filled with so much pain. but now that pain has gone away. For I have found a place I want to be. This place I see is with thee. For in your arms I have felt and seen, a wonderful feeling that I cannot believe. A safe haven in your arms just for me. Now I give my heart to thee. For my heart believes in you

Love Letter If you're reading this then that must mean, I've worked up the courage that was unseen. Upon pondering love I came to find, that you were what came to my mind. So, I'm here to ask if you love me so; there's only two answers: yes or no. If it's no, then don`t mind me, dreaming of how I wish it could be. If it's no, turn me away, knowing I'll find true love someday. If it's no, I'll realize, there was never anything within your eyes. But, if it's yes, tears I will shed- tears of joy and not of dread.

Wondering As I'm sitting here, Deep into a trance, I'm having some fear, Of what's coming up in the next glance. Life has its turns, Some not so good, Others leaving burns, For reasons not understood. As I look into my mind, I see my life as it was, What pain I left behind, Wondering what one does. My ride is almost over, When I notice a sharp glare, Looking over my shoulder, I can't help but to stare. Wondering what I see, I step off the ride, Seeing it's a key, I take it with pride. Opening the door it goes to, I carefully step inside, Wondering what to do, I see a note laying aside. Then I wake up, Wondering what was inside, Life may never tell me, So I'll wonder until the day I die.

I can't believe after all this time,I can't get over you, I guess a love like ours is one of a kind,a love that is true. It's been 13 years sense you left me to go to God & heavens immensity, Do you still remember me? I wonder who you look like, me or your dad, Do you have my smile and his eyes? Would you have been big and tall or tiny and small? We had dreams for you that reached to the skies. It was long, long ago and I still miss you so, Thanks to Jesus, I'll see you in heaven. Do you still remember me? I'll hold you in heaven someday, When my trials on earth pass away; The angels have rocked you, the Father watches over you, I know you're waiting for me; I never could hold you or tell you "Goodbye", But I'll hold you in heaven someday. Do you still remember me? written for my child, misscarried dec 10, 1994 (4 months, baby girl)