Icarus's blog: "Just South of Blue."

1. What is your name?
What... is your Quest!?

2. How old are you?
31. I look 20, I feel 300.


3. What's your hair color?
Copper.

4. What's your eye color?
Onyx.

5. Who do you miss right now?
My dog Jack.

6. How are you feeling?
Wistful, but a bit frustrated with my shit internet provider.

7. What kind of music do you like?
SO MANY! Blues, Synthwave, Punk, Alt

8. What is your favorite band?
David Bowie and the Spiders from Mars.

9. Who is your favorite actor/actress?
Toshiro Mifune.

 10. If your could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
My work ethic.

 11. What do you like the most about yourself?
Probably my dedication to helping other people.

 12. What's the most exciting thing that has ever happened to you?
I got to hold some babies before anyone else did.

 13. Worst day ever?
Probably the car accident, it was the most directly painful, and possibly had the longest consequences.

 14. Best day ever?
*whistles* Probably getting all my legal stuff settled and knowing I don't need back surgery.

 15. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Debt free. Free. In a fantastic relationship. In a satisfying career.

 16. Favorite color?
German Blue.

 17. Do you think you trust easily?
I do not. I'm skeptical as all hell, I've been burned too many times.

 18. What kind of personality do you think you have?
Cynical intellectual. Cynillectual.

 19. Where is your favorite place to be?
Underground.

 20. Favorite time of day?
Nighty times!

 21. If you were on an island and could only have one person there with you, who would be there A master navigator/sailor/materials engineer that can make boats out of the available material and get my ass home.

 22. Relationship status?
Crushing.

 23. Do you like anime/manga?
I do. Not as much as I did 10 years ago.

 24. Ever have your heart broken?
Whole fucking bunch. There's not much heart left.

 25. Favorite article of clothing?
My St. Jude pendant.

 26. Favorite class?
First! Hehehehe.

 27. Favorite electronic?
My PC.

 28. Favorite candy?
Glee Gum.

 29. Ever broken the law?
I have in fact. Nothing major. Unless you count fucking in the back of a car?

 30. Favorite season?
Winter. Gimme the snow. It makes everything quiet and pretty.

 31. Favorite song?
Ever? Too many to pick from. This week- Timecop1983 "Lovers"

 32. Favorite animal?
My dog!

 33. Greatest fear?
Getting other people hurt.

 34. BEST dance music ever?
Disco. Duh.

 35. Funiest thing that happened to you?
To me? I once did a hilariously complicated ninja kick without meaning to- and actually kicked someone in the face.

 36. Your best friend? <3
My dog or my brother.


 37. Do you have a crush? <3 <3 <3
Girl- You have no idea.


 38. What is your favorite drink?
Barley Tea.

 39. When is your birthday?
1/20/1985


 40. What is your favorite food?
Gyoza, probably. Or pork buns.

 41. How often do you lie?
Frequently. I have to maintain a whole alter-ego at work that isn't all sex crazed, atheist, and viscious.


 42. Would you do whatever it takes to get what you want?
Nah, I don't want to hurt anyone in the process.


 43. What is your favorite movie?
Ikiru.


 44. Do you have any pets?
My doggy!

 45. What are they/ what are their names?
She's an English Mastiff and her name is Clover.

 46. Favorite website to go on?
Probably Fubar.


 47. What song do you think best describes your life?
"Soul Sucking Jerk" by Beck.


 48. What kind of cell phone (if you have one) do you have?
I have 2, one's a touchy smarty phone, the other is a bullet proof, water proof, truck proof flip-phone brick.


 49. What are you OBSESSED with?
Giant robots.


 50. Did this survey at least keep your from being bored? It's my first one <3
Maybe a lil bit.

1. Song that always makes you sad?

Perfume Genius "Dirge"

2. Last thing you bought?

Food. No. Wait, gas.

3. Last person you argued with?

My mother. She can be a bit overprotective.

4. Do you put Butter before putting the peanut butter on?

Wat? No.

5. One of your stuffed animals' names as a kid?

Funshine. Judge me.

6. Did you ever own at one time a Barenaked Ladies Cd?

Noop. Did own a Smashmouth, and I'd accuse that of being just as bad.

7. Favorite day of the week?

Saturday, I usually cook.

8. Favorite Sundae topping?

I'm kind of a purist, I don't want a menagerie of flavors on my icecream.

9. Did you take Piano lessons?

Nope.

10. Most frequent song played?

Ever or in the past 2 weeks? Past 2 weeks is probably something by- oh I know TimeCop1983 "Lovers"

11. T.V. show you secretly enjoy?

Probably some girly Harem Anime.

12. Would you rather play basketball or hockey?

Ugh, I'd rather go to the dentist.

13. Date someone older or younger?

I've done both.

14. One place you could travel right now?

France.

15. Do you use umbrellas?

I do at times, if it's really coming down. Sprinkles I kinda just ignore.

16. Do you know all the words to the Canadian national anthem?

O_o No, eh.

17. Favorite Cheese?

Fuck. errrrrm... ... ... that's a tough question. Aged: Pecorino. Soft: Brie

18. The Smith's or the Cure?

I know that I hate the Cure, so The Smiths because I've never heard them.

19. Do you prefer Blondes or Brunettes?

Redheads.

20. Best job you ever had?

Security/coat check at a nightclub as far as fun/weirdness. Best paying was at KHPA processing applications for Medicaid/SCHIP.

21. did you go to your high school prom?

Noop. I hate people. I hate those people. I hated dressing up. I hate dancing in public. I hate played out social rituals. I hated that music.

22. perfect time to wake up?

About 45 minutes before I need to.

23. perfect time to go to bed?

About 3 hours after I need to.

24. do you use your queen right away in chess? ..

Nah, that'd be rash.

25. Ever been in a car accident?

I have. It fucked up my neck and back pretty good, and left a gnarly head scar. The first responders saw the wreck and were very surprised I wasn't dead.

26. closer to mom or dad...or neither?

I talk more with my mom, but I get along better with my dad.

27. what age is this exciting life over for you?

90?

28. what decade during the 20th century would you have chosen to be a teenager?

Not one with a plague/flu outbreak, not during the dustbowl, not during the depression (unless I had a massive working garden/farm) not during viet nam, not during WWII or WWI... what does that leave? The 50's? I could get a malt at the malt shoppe and wear a sweet leather jacket.

29. Favorite shoes you have EVER owned?

Sage Green canvas, tan rubber custom Chuck Taylors

30. Do you have an article of clothing you have had since you were in high school?

Several, I got skinny in sophomore year, and haven't got unskinny since. Plus some of those band t-shirts rock.

31. Were you in track and field?

Noop. Hate people.

32. Were you ever in a school talent show?

Noop. Hate people.

33. Have you ever written in a library book?

Yes, in the lil index card they give you to check it out.

34. Allergic to?

Some grasses, some molds, every cat, some dogs.

35. Favorite fruit?

Strawberries, but they gotta be perfect.

36. Have you watched sex and the city?

I have to see what all the fuss was about. I did not get what all the fuss was about.

37. Baseball hat or toque?

Yes. It does depend. Also when did we start saying toque instead of beanie?

38. Do you shampoo first in the shower or soap?

Soap. Shampoo is the finale.

39. Wet the toothbrush or brush dry with the toothpaste?

Dry with toothpaste.

40. Pen or pencil?

Pilot G2.

41. Have you ever gambled at a casino?

I have. Won money. Lost money.

42. Have you thrown up on a plane?

I have not. I have thrown up on a bus.

43. Have you thrown up in a car?

I have, some idiot was eating licorice right next to my face, that shit is disgusting.

44. Have you thrown up at work?

Only in the bathroom.

45. Do you scream on roller coasters?

Nah. I might give a Homer-esque "woohoo".

46. Who was your first prom date?

See above.

47. Who was your first roommate?

Some asshole that lost his mind and also didn't pay rent.

48. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk for the first time?

First time? Holy hell when was the first time I got drunk? I wanna say tequila because it was the only thing being drunk.

49. What was your first job?

Clerk at a hotel overnight.

50. What was your first car?

1985 Blazer.

51. When did you go to your first funeral?

Uh probably very young.

52. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown?

19.

53. Who was your first grade teacher?

I do not recall.

54. Where did you go on your first airplane ride?

Florida. I was six.

55. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?

Myself.

56. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them?

Kid named Roy. We are not, he went like... bigotted religious.

57. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parent's house?

Topeka.

58. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?

My brother.

59. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen?

I was a best man in my High School best friend's wedding, and then I was best man in my brother's.

60. What is the first thing you do in the morning?

Hit snooze six times. Wake up. Jack it.

61. What was the first concert you attended?

The Urge featuring 2 Skinnee J's

62. First tattoo or piercing?

Don't have any, got plenty of scars.

63. First celebrity crush?
I have no clear recollection, so I'm going to say Tony Danza because it's funny.

1. What was your last facebook status? Hah. I don't facebook.

2. What color is the wall in your kitchen? Yellow, but I'd probably go for something more earthy in my own kitchen.

3. Last time you were in a group shot? Uuuuh... ... ... never? Maybe Xmas?

4. Last time you dressed formally? Today. Black suit, black belt and shoes, with a purple shirt.

5. At what age did you go through puberty? O_o I'm probably STILL going through puberty, have you seen my super young face?

6. Last time you got an xray? Last month. Everything's broken.

7.What is the stupidest show on television? Anything about rich, talentless people.

8. Do you pluck/wax your eyebrows? I do not.

9. Have you ever owned a blacklight? I have not. My room would glow.

10. Do you own a coloring book? I do not, but my mom is way into them right now, I think she's worried about getting alzheimers or something.

11. Do you shop at a dollar store? Yeap. Cheap necessities.

12. Do you do any winter sports? Does hybernating count?

13. Which is worse: Snakes, Scorpions or Spiders? Scorpions. You can drown and freeze snakes and spiders. Put a scorpion in the freezer and he'll just get out, thaw, and sting your feet. Also the first time I saw a scorpion swim FREAKED ME THE FUCK OUT.

14. Do you own duct tape? I do, in various lengths, rolled around other objects, just in case.

15. Do you own a jack knife? I own several knives, not all of them are for food.

16. What size underwear do you wear? Men's medium.

17. When was the last time you ordered something online? Uuh...last month? Needed slacks.

18. Have you ever been bitten by a tick? I have. This year too. Rotten little parasitic bastards.

19. Do you prefer blackberries or raspberries? Blueberries. Then blackberries.

20. What color is your moms car? This hideous goldish nonsense.

21. Do you like flavored water? I do not, but I do like actual coconut water.

22. Do you watch wrestling? Not since The Warrior fought some terrifying voodoo man in the 90's.

23. Do you enjoy cranberry juice? I do. Especially with club soda. Like in XXX.

24. Do you know the difference between "possum" and "oppossum"?` I do. One lives in my garage. The other does not.

25. What things do you have pierced? Intentionally? No.

26. What label would you give your clothing style? Not that sarcastically retro, business formal.

27. How far away is the closest mall? I dunno, like 80 miles south?

28. How many gingers do you know? A bunch, and I'm not terribly fond of that word. None are actually in my family though. Go figure.

29. Do people often misspell your name? Often.

30. What is available at your bedside? My dog if she isn't on the bed, some old receipts, two phones (one isn't a phone), grampa's knife, car keys, and a cloth hat thing.

31. Do you have a tv in your room? Nope. Just this PC.

32. Do you wear a lot of plaid? I do not. My brother does. He remembers grunge.

33. What do you think about gauged ears? I'm not that into it, and I've seen some blowouts.

34. Do you text a lot? Nah.

35. How often do you go camping? Rarely. I've been meaning to get into it with this whole back to nature kick I'm on.

36. What is the cutest breed of dog? English Mastiff. Duh. http://cmaenglishmastiffs.com/images/Rebel_41507_071.jpg

37. What is the ugliest name for a girl? David.

38. Do you make fun of people behind their backs? I really try not to, and I try not to engage when other people do it. I'll burn you to your face though.

39. If you had to get a cat right now, what would you name him? I'm allergic to cats. Also, Space Cat, Alfedore, or Cat Party.

40. What is one thing that you refuse to get rid of? My dog.

41. Would you rather go minigolfing or bowling? Mini-golfing.

42. When was the last time you were stung by a bee? Probably within the last 5 years.

43. Have you ever seen a live alligator? I have in fact.

44. If I gave you a free plane ticket, where would you go? Probably use it on the trip I'm going on in December.

45. Are you hungry right now? Nah, but I could always eat.

46. Does your shower have glass doors or a curtain? I take baths, good for my shoulder, neck and back.

47. Did you play pokemon or whatever as a child? I played Pokemon Blue, my brother got Red.

48. Did you ever own a guinea pig or mouse, etc? Nope. Had a bunch of turtles, toads, frogs, and lizards that I caught. And praying manti.

49, What is the longest that you've ever had your hair? Shoulder length, and it was all wavey, feathery and glorius.

50. When did you last go out to eat? I had carry out last Friday.

51. Do know anyone that is a pagan? Sure do. A whole family.

52. Cauliflower or broccoli? Cauliflower for soup and curry. Broccoli raw, or sauteed.

53. Are you in/planning on college? I graduated with a BA in 2008.

54. Does your town have a public pool? Yes it's disgusting.

55. Describe your favorite pair of shoes: Irish Setter water proof hiking/do everything boots.

56. What is the farthest you've been from home? Japan.

57. How many eggs do you eat in a week? Usually zero.

58. What do you think about tongue rings? They don't improve oral sex as much as you've been lead to believe.

59. What do you seem to be addicted to at the moment? Masturbation and decaf, because it used to be sex and coffee, but I'm old.

60. What would you say your mood has been like today? A little anxious, but a pretty great day, started with a good dream.

61. Pirates or ninjas? Ninjas.

62. Hot Chocolate or Coffee? Coffee. But I have combined them.

63. Harry Potter or Ron Weasley? Harry. We both have gnarly face scares. Also, can I just say they wrote Ron as a total whiney bitch?

64. Buffy or Xena? Fiona the Human.

65. Kay bye. I'm out!

Don't let all your crazy out at once.
Let it come to you.
Like a darting wide-mouth on a line.
Let it dance a while, tire itself out
and hook to the snare
thrash for a minute and fall
subdued and docile
welcoming its trip to the net and cooler.
Confined. Sleeping. Silent.

1

      How are you?

Steve.

I want
very much
for this to be real.

Maybe a little too much.
Like the lights that play in my head
to Rachmaninov and synthetic comp.

But just when I turn off the lights,
close my eyes
and forget every fractured, crumbling part of me.

Cleansed
free
and whole.

As I was when the world was new.

I can still find that young, hope filled man.

When I hold my breath and dive out of my shell.
When I reach for your hand.

That's when the lights come on
the music stops
the curtain drops

But I had that moment.
I could feel your lips on my neck
and a dreamy victory of having once been.

You ever pick away at the words, the mood, the rhythm and find yourself thinking of the same person in each god damn song?

I was perfectly fine being miserable, listening to obscure music genres for six hours until the phone rang

and I was sure it was important, because no one really calls me at 11:16 unless their washer blew up, or their attic was on fire

"yeah, what'ya need?"

"Hey!" (this saccharine and overly-familiar ejaculation was already entirely too cheerful for a disaster, and oozed of a terrible idea with little to no planning). It was my eco-friendly-friend, and she probably has a terrible idea.

"Hey. everything alright?" Restating. All business. Something better be on fire.

"I was just wondering how you were doing?" Oh, this is bad. This is very bad.

"I'm doing okay, what did you need?" I go ahead and close all the way out of my music and start rubbing the squishy parts under my eyebrows, stifling a massive sigh.

"I just had dinner with the Clarks, and their friend Bethany, we had squash, and peppers, and tomatoes, and kale"

"uh huh" That sigh is coming on strong, I better think about something I don't hate.

"And after they all went home-" I'm going to hate this "um, Bethany said it would be okay for me to give you her number."

The sigh came out, but a subsequent swear at its release did not "Who the hell is Bethany?"

"Y'know! Bethany! She likes comics, she thought you were real funny, she uuuh has cats" I should really hang up.

I try to think of something nice to say. Something, political, appeasing, sensitive, without pointing out my extreme allergy to this woman's youth-educator nanny no-swears 'aw shucks' 'golly gee' personality, junk-food and pop-culture fueled lifestyle, and choice of companion animal.
"Well that's interesting" I say pointedly ommitting any reference or interest in that phone number.

"I um, I-" The wheels are turning, it's starting to register that I'm under no obligation to want to spend time with this person, much less a prolonged period of time, much less impregnate her. Especially after dancing out of that particular minefield three times already this month, "yeah, so that happened".

"Sounds like you had a good night". I start wondering about what I would have cooked, and how, for approximately six vegetarians. "How's that boyfriend I badgered you into getting, pretty, smart, full of charm and cynicism?"

"Oh gosh" I can actually hear her blush"He's SO great, Yeah, so we'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, 9-ish?" Knowing that her ride will flake, or a car will break down, or a meteor will strike and it'll be more like 11:30-ish. I set my alarm accordingly and pat my large, mostly comatose companion animal.

"Better make it 9:30"
I set my alarm for Noon.

1. What's your favourite cereal?  Oops all Marshmallows Lucky Charms.

2. Is there a bus stop near your house? Nah I live in the middle of nowhere, and like it that way.

3. Do you prefer red wine or white wine? Bourbon.

4. What's the last airport you were at? Why were you there? KCI, I think I was picking someone up.

5. Have you recently broken up with a significant other or even just a friend? Nah, but I have considered chopping my dick off, and permanently quitting the dating pool.

6. What's the weather like today? Is it nice enough to go outside? Hot as a bastard, so not really.

7. Do you know anyone who's had a baby recently? Thousands of people. Also my best friend from high school, I'm probably the god-father despite not speaking to each other for years.

8. Have you used a pen or pencil today? What did you write down? Both. Stuff for work.

9. What does your last text message say and who is it from? "Yeah, K" my brother. Eloquent.

10. Can you count how many times you've seen your favourite film? Nope.

11. When was the last time you ate marshmallows? probably a year or so ago.

12. Do you listen to any podcasts? Not very often.

13. How old will you be in the year 2030? 44?

14. How often does the kettle in your house get used? Multiple times every day.

15. Does your skin bruise easily? Do you have any bruises right now? What from? Yes. Yes. Micro-farming.

16. What was the last thing you spent $150 or more on? Clothes. Washer ate some slacks.

17. Do you prefer yes or no questions or more open-ended questions? Open ended.

18. What brand of toilet paper do you usually buy? ... charmin?

19. If I knocked on your door right now, would you be acceptably dressed? At the moment yes, in 5 minutes, no.

20. What colour were the last socks you wore? Black.

21. Are you studying currently? What level of education and what do you study? Just books I read about... the planet, houses, food, giant robots.

22. Have you ever eaten at a restaurant and left without paying? Only when they comped me.

23. What's your favourite scent of air freshener? N/A, that shit makes me sneeze.

24. How many weddings have you ever been to? At least a dozen.

25.  Do you know anyone named Nora? Probably.

26. Are your hands and feet in good condition or could you do with a mani-pedi? I take pretty good care of my extremities.

27. When was the last time you played a board game? What did you play? Chess, probably 2015

28. How old were you when you first became sexually active? Involuntarily 8. Voluntarily 22.

29. Have you ever been to a festival for beer or other type of alcohol? Nah.

30. Do you own a record player and/or vinyls? Yes.

31. When was the last time you went out for drinks? I don't people.

32. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yes, and I was cat-nip to those strippers. Must've been all the money and the wholesome midwesty smile.

33. What's your favourite kind of smoothie? The kind with coffee... only not blended, with no other ingredients, and served hot.

34. Would you ever wear real authentic leather? Would and do regularly on my belt and, oddly one of my adventure hats.

35. Have you taken out the trash today? Nope. Opossums.

36. How often do you wear make-up? I'll say "never" but we all know that's a lie.

37. What's your opinion on The Simpsons? Cultural icon, but the glory days are gone.

38. Do you prefer horizontal or vertical stripes? In the context of panties- horizontal.

39. What's your favourite brand of deodorant/antiperspirant? Mitchum, just to be an old cheap bastard.

40.  Do you know anyone who has been through a divorce? Yes. You do too, unless you've been living under a rock, on the moon, facing away from the planet.

41. If you had the money, would you take taxis everywhere instead of driving? What the hell is a taxi?

42. Have you ever done a juice cleanse? Nah, I don't want dyebeetus

43. Do you have any friends who you can't decide if they're attractive or not? I do actually, and a few are a head scratcher. There are things about their views or personality that are extremely off-putting.

44. Is the inside of your fridge clean right now or does it need a clean out? Clean.

45. When was the last time you washed the dishes? Saturday, I think. I don't eat.

46. Are there any magazines that you read on a regular basis? Hah, print media, that's adorable.

47. Do you have to pay for parking in most places in the town/city you live in? Free parking in bumblefuck.

48. What's the first thing you tend to do when you have a headache? Rub my forehead scar, and sigh.

49. What's your favourite style/cut of underwear? For me to wear? Boxers, but boxer-briefs make me look like an underwear model, so they're growing on me. For me to take off of someone? boy-shorts, cotton, relatively high thread count.

50. Can you hear lots of traffic from your house? Does it bother you? Yeah, I'm kind of on a cross-road of a highway, and it fucking drives me NUTS, I want to move far away from trucks.

51. Have you ever had proper Canadian poutine with the squeaky cheese? Probably, and I wasn't impressed by your disco fries with cheese

52. Do your parents know how to operate smartphones and/or computers? Fucking god no, and they think I do.

53. Are you allergic to anything? What do you have to do to prevent them? Pennecillin, small dogs, all cats, some mold, some grass.

54. Have you ever lost enough weight to drop a dress size? Yes... what the hell is my dress size?

55. What's your favourite kind of bread? Rye

56. When was the last time you got pizza? What toppings did you get? About 2 weeks ago, I got a "frito chili pie" pizza, and it was fucking epic.

57. Do you own Monopoly? Is it the original or a special version? God I hate monopoly, but I do own a star wars monopoly.

58. What was the last thing you said out loud? "god I hate monopoly"

59. Would someone being either a cat or dog person effect you dating them? I can't live with cats or cutesy dogs, so yeah.

60. Do you primarily use cash or card for your purchases? Why? Debit, because credit is for chumps and cash is archaic.

61. Have you ever been to a stadium concert? Nah, I prefer lounges or dive bars for live music, more me.

I should probably go to sleep
wake up
shave my neck beard
brush my teeth
stop thinking about you
get dressed
go to work
pretend to be human
zone out
get paid
stop thinking about you
come home
eat something bland
go back to work
close out
check everything six times
talk to some asshole coworker
leave 30 minutes late
stop thinking about you
take my dog for a walk
eat something bland
stop thinking about you
have a drink
have six
pick up the phone
put it down
stop thinking about you
pass out.