It's funny I always though writing things out helped. My friends had said it helped. For awhile it did help. Now though anytime I do that it just keeps pouring out like an uncorked bottle. I know it's good to get things out, but sometimes I don't think you can shut off the valve.
It's a good outlet especially if you won't or you can't talk to anyone, but I know it only seems to make me more of a mess espeially lately.
It's kinda funny to how my friends tell me that's I'm one of the strongest people they know and I get a look on my face like you're joking right? I guess maybe I'm really good at putting up that front cause they've never noticed otherwise. It's just not the case. The only reason it's there is simply because it's keeping out all the hurtful things people say and do to you.
It's funny how a word, phrase, or sentence can reduce you into nothing. What's worse is when that comes from someone who is supposed to love you and support you(i.e. your family and friends.) It's pretty bad when the people you love can hurt you that badly yet claim to still love you. I'm not sure why it's so easy for them to hurt you more so than someone who's just being hurtful to you that either doesn't matter or isn't a friend. The thing of that is, is that you allow yourself to let them do this to you and you start to become mad at yourself. Hell you get down right p*ssed off, but then you find a way to turn that anger into a useful way and tell them to screw it cause why should you let them make you feel like crap?
Then there's those times when people compliment you on something so simple that you would have never thought it was a big deal and you never think it's a big deal because all you ever heard was negative. People don't understand that. eventually all the negative things build up and you start to believe them so when someone compliments you you don't believe them, or you can't let yourself believe it.
I guess maybe these people think they are helping you by motivating you or something or by using tough love, well here's an idea maybe get to know the person, talk to them not at them, because you'll get no where with that approach and you'll only be miserable and make someone else feel like crap too.
People only see what they want to and they don't really go deep enough to get to know what someone's really about. I guess maybe I'm different that way and in turn i get hurt more often because of it. I just know that I don't only wanna know someone on the surface. what good is that? If you make the effort to know someon, then know them don't gloss over the important stuff and if you really wanna know how they are when you ask, then listen.
A little kindness and support go a long way in dealing with people and human nature.
