Donna G's blog: "a suprise at night"

Did you ever feel like people went out of their way to hurt your feelings? It's bad enough I put up with that crap from my ex husband, boss and even my teenager. I just didn't expect grown adults, and I use the term loosely, for them to purposely try to make me feel bad. Shame on you.

I am sorry that Rebecca and I could not make it this week. Due to circumstances beyond our control, we were unable to attend the services. This was a passing that was the closest I have ever had to deal with. Aunt Fran was my favorite Aunt. The only way I have to morn is by writing this out. I want to share it with all of you. I love you. ~Donna As an Adult, you look back and think about the people in your life who have positively influenced you. Many people have made me who I am today. My Aunt Fran was one of those people in my life. She tragically passed suddenly, leaving many of us shocked and saddened by her departure. The only saving grace is that she did not linger. I spoke with Aunt Fran briefly on the phone 2 weeks ago. She was a little frustrated being in the Hospital, but just like she always was, very positive and cheerful. She always had a wonderful disposition. My Mother put it best when she said to me, “Fran always had a way of making everyone feel special”. This is so true. Mom and Dad lived a few miles in the next town over from Fran and Gene. I remember so many things growing up that involved all of us being together. Vicky, Laura, Angela and Stacy are my cousins. The girls were so close to us, it was like having 4 more sisters. We often times were over at their house on weekends, Holidays and just because. I even would ride my bike over there just to be at that house. I was so excited to be going to “Aunt Fran and Uncle Gene's” house. It was a Special place for me. Gentle, Kind, Strong and kind of Spicy that was my Aunt Fran. Fourth of July is never quite the same for me after I moved to Jersey. Fourth of July meant a Barbeque, Beans, Home Made Ice Cream (Uncle Gene's Specialty) was served after we all had taken turns churning the mix. We would walk to the school to walk Rolling Meadows Fireworks, and then back to Gene and Fran's for more cake and the Arlington Park Fireworks. My family was all there. That was my favorite Holiday. When I had some sort of issue or did not feel right about myself, Aunt Fran would say something to make it better. Stacy and I had one time been out in the neighborhood when one girl came over and bullied us. We went to my Aunt and told her what the girl was saying. I laugh today to think about how great an answer my Aunt had when she said “Tell Britt she is a carrot top” or something to that affect. I never realized until that moment that I could stand up for myself with people I did not know. Fran did that for me. Aunt Fran always stood her ground and was an amazingly strong woman. Mom and Dad would go away for the weekend and all five of us would invade Fran and Gene's home. It was so fun to be over there. The Dogs and Cats and Birds and..Etc. We would have wonderful meals, great special little gifts, and warm conversation. One year, my Cousins told me a scary story about aliens and ghosts. I woke up screaming I think out of the room. Fran was there to bring me back to “Earth”. Every year Fran would make sure all of us would get something nice that she made or found for us for Christmas. I remember a Cat she had made me. I kept that cute cat until she fell apart in my bathroom here in Jersey. I know she made it with love. As a child, Fran made me feel extra “Pretty” as a little girl. She always got me some little perfume or lip gloss from Avon. I could always count on that from Fran and Gene. Aunt Fran continued to make the people in her life feel special. My Daughter Rebecca with her red hair came over to their house when we were visiting one year. She was cleaning house to move. She gave my daughter a baby doll with red hair. She signed the dolls foot. My daughter loved this doll until she fell apart. She always felt as if Aunt Fran was here Favorite (Great) Aunt. I know she was mine. For a few years, Fran was unable to leave her home. Instead of just being home, she made the best of it. She became (in my mind) the best Cake Baker in the entire universe. She made Beautiful Wedding Cakes, Soccer Cakes, Special Occasion Cakes, Ginger Bread houses that would take up a whole table, and the best best best Cake ever, her Easter Lamb Cake. Anything else she cooked, baked or prepared was fabulous as well. She also made the best costumes a child would ever need for Halloween. Aunt Fran took on a role as the caretaker. She always took care of everyone. One time my Mother stopped over and Aunt Fran had been taking care of 8 of her 12 Grandchildren. The oldest one was in the First Grade. As usual, Fran did this with grace and ease. She made it look easy. Up until Fran left us, she always took care of all of us. Her intentions were always genuine. I will miss Aunt Fran as we all will. Forever in my heart this Special woman will be. We were all blessed to have such a wonderful person in our lives. God Bless and keep you Aunt Fran.

Never thinking this could affect the ones i love.... Within the last 2 years, people I have been close to have been affected by Smoking. January 2006 one of my friends Jeff, a very attractive man aged 41 had a heart attack and was rushed to Cooper Medical in Atlantic city. He had 4 blocked arteries. If you ever saw this gorgeous man, you would never in your life think he had a medical issue. Health, active, muscular, didn't drink or use drugs at all..and this happened. The Doctors told him it was a direct result of Smoking. That is when I decided to quit my Smoking habit I had for 29 years. I have been smoke free since March 3, 2006. Best Birthday present I ever gave myself. Last December, my friend of 6 years, Barbara, age 52, passed away from Lung Cancer..again a direct result of smoking. At her Wake/Funeral, one of our friends came in to tell us her Husband Bill passed away the night before from Lung cancer also. This was a terrible blow to my circle of friends. People we love are passing away before our eyes. Saturday morning, I received a voicemail from my friend telling me our close friend J had a heart attack. We have been close for 8 years now. I believe she is 52 years old. I know my friends are a few years older than me but they are all relatively young to have this happen. She had 2 stents put in and will be getting more. I am so worried and upset but I know she will pull through with flying colors. My heart aches. Once again, direct result of smoking. Please consider stoppping before it's too late.

Slipknot - "Psychosocial" from the 4th album "All Hope Is Gone" - 2008 Band: Slipknot Song: Psychosocial Album: All Hope Is Gone Label: Roadrunner Records Year: 2008 Lyrics I did my time, and I want out I saw my future, afraid It doesn’t cut, The soul is not so vibrant The reckoning, the sickening Back and chase a virgin Pseudo-psychic sacred version Go tell your classes, Go dig your grave Then fill your mouth With all the money you will save Sinking in, getting smaller again I’m done, it has begun I’m not the only one And the rain will kill us all, Throw ourselves against the wall But no one else can see, The preservation of the martyr in me Psychosocial, psychosocial, psychosocial Psychosocial, psychosocial, psychosocial There are cracks in the road we lay But when the death will fail, The secrets have gone mad! This is nothing new, But would we kill it all? Fate was all we had The reason of the mess, We could start over Just look me in the eyes And say I’m wrong Now there’s only emptiness, But I’m missing something I think we’re done, I’m not the only one! And the rain will kill us all, Throw ourselves against the wall But no one else can see, The preservation of the martyr in me Psychosocial, psychosocial, psychosocial Psychosocial, psychosocial, psychosocial Fate can not catch this lie, I tried to tell you first Your hurtful lies are giving out Can’t stop the killing, I can’t help it Is there something psycho? Is this what you want? I’m not the only one! And the rain will kill us all, Throw ourselves against the wall But no one else can see, The preservation of the martyr in me Psychosocial, psychosocial, psychosocial Psychosocial, psychosocial, psychosocial Band Members (0) Sid Wilson (1) Joey Jordison (2) Paul Gray (3) Chris Fehn (4) James a.k.a Jim Root (5) Craig "133" Jones (6) Shawn "Clown" Crahan (7) Mick Thomson (8) Corey Taylor

I was just sitting in the lounge with other Managers at work. We got on the subject of summers past as a child. For what ever reason childhood memories came back to me. I remember growing up in the Suburbs of Chicago. I was one of 5 children-middle child. My Mother and my younger Brother, younger Sister and I would go Down State Illinois to my Grandmothers Farm. My Grandfather pasted away a few years earlier so Grandma needed some help. Certainly I was not going to go out and plow the fields and tend to the livestock. My male cousins and Uncles took care of that. Mom had us do things at the house. My Grandmothers home was beautiful..Simply beautiful. The house was set off from an orange dirt road. The stones in the road were true gems that sparkled in the sunlight. A creek ran across the road that was fenced in. There was an old bridge to the south the road ran through. As you walked up the front gate, the deep green soft lawn was on both sides of a sidewalk my Uncles poured for my grandparents in the early 70's. The front porch had a swing and chair around it. When you walked in, the right was a closed door to my Grandparents bedroom. In the foyer, you looked up at a multi leveled staircase. It was definately re done in the 30's. That rounded wood all the way to the top bedrooms always fascinated me. Once upstairs there were 4 bedrooms. All the large rooms had huge brass beds in them. I loved playing up there with my siblings. My aunts and uncles had long bed out of those rooms but my Grandmother insisted they all be kept up. One room facing the road had a small balcony overlooking the front, road and creek. The most lovely lace curtains framed all of the windows lined by the white sheers. A smaller room had all the games and books from my mothers childhood neatly tucked away for us when we arrived. I think my favorite bedroom was the one attached to my Grandmothers dressing room. She had a vanity, so beautiful, chair and mirror with the silver soft brush and hand mirror. To the right was a cabinet attached to the Vanity. In that was my Grandmothers hats. She had such an assortment of them. We would wear them, brush our hair and hit each other with the big powder puff at the Vanity. The dressing room was filled with beautiful hand sown dresses. Lace, silk, cotton and even Chicken feed bags were used to make the clothing. The neatly embroidered and needle pointed designs into the beautiful dresses. Down stairs to the right was the living room. Very family oriented. The back 2 rooms were the kitchen and dining room. They were the biggest rooms in the house. I remember the dinners of dozens around a big table when all of us got together. Coming down after my Grandfather past away to a smaller dinner with my Grandmother was just as warm and inviting. Double sinks and a huge work area was where all the real work was done. The food was unreal. You just can not imagine how good a peach cobbler is from that room after a good ham or chicken dinner. We had such a great time there. You would step out the back of the kitchen to the porch. On the right was the stair to the cellar where we would can veggies and fruit. Out back to the right were the chestnut trees. We would go thru the area picking up the hollowed out chestnuts and making designs with them. In the winter we would have tons of them to roast. Beyond was the barn with the livestock. I remember the sheep running up thru my Grandfathers legs as he walked with milk pails under his arms just to be knocked down by those laughing sheep. Coops were to the left. My sisters and I had to go get the eggs from the angry chickens in that coop. my father hated the smell of "Chicken shit". He loved my Mother so much and still does that he always told me words of wisdom: "If you truly love someone like I love your Mother, you sometimes have to put up with a little Chicken shit." Beyond all of that was the 100 acre farm. How beautiful. Acres and acres of Soy, Wheat and corn. Riding on the back of a tractor with my Uncle Bud and Uncle Dale always was something I will have burned into my memory. Riding thru a field seeing how beautiful all of this was is something you can always appreciate. OK I am not someone for bugs but there I was not as terrified of them. My family would explain to me the purpose of each insect. Many of them helped them with their crops. I often look at a sunset now wondering if that farm is as beautiful as I remembered from my youth. Just a little place I can always find serenity in my mind is going back to that place. The shiny gems on the road, the creek, the lace curtains, hats, aromas and textures of that place will always be with me. My daughter is truly missing out on America's beauty.

I noticed, I have had some painfully truthful conversation with people recently to find them suddenly dissapearing. You know I have recently been having issues..sadness and pain. Nothing too major but I feel so heartbroken..but no one broke my heart. I do not understand the feelings. All the changes in my life..New bosses, moved, surgery, life altering events for people I love for the better...I just feel so open and raw. I know there are other things I need to do in my life..but lately it has been so hard to stay focused. Sleep doesn't happen like I need and I just feel upset. I hope this passes soon.

I ask everyone if you casually say hello or send a gift, that you please keep your account to yourself. I do NOT appreciate thanking someone for a gift by saying "Thank you Hun" which is something I often reply to gifts, only to receive a nasty "HE's not your Hun" as a reply.(Obviously a woman logged on to this mans account and was so rude as to read his mail..thank GOD I am divorced!!!) For me, Fubar is a place I go for entertainment and to talk to friends. My real life has enough of it's own Drama. I do not need to innocently be pulled into someone elses Drama.

Well, I am sure some of you know for the first time in my Fubar career I achieved much to my suprise a day of being purple. It was not because I was pushing the site, wanted to be purple or needed the points..it wa because it was Sauturday night..hot as heck..and I was bored on AOL. I was in a chatroom full of people who wanted to see my pic. Instead of emailing a pic I just sent them all a link to join under me so they automatically would be my friend and see my pics. I had no idea 8-10 people would sign up in a short matter of time. That is all said and done..great stuff right?WRONG!!!!I guess being purple made it so that NO ONE came to my page that 24 hours. I fell right off the map!!!! Weird how people love you one day, and hate you the next. Was it jealousy? or just a fluke?

...minding my own business.....some man a few years older than me sends me an email expressing his admiration towards me. i reply with the standard thank you and don't really go into a discussion. i really don't get very close with people until we have spoken a few times... ..tonight doing laundry...my daughter falls asleep on my lap as i cry my eyes out watching steel magnolias....i put her to bed and come back to check my mail... ...i open up an email from an outline of a woman..2 emails..one expresses her "threat" against me to "stay away from her husband".. ...and the next calling me a fat whore....keep in mind the biotch doesn't even have her face pic up.... ...i usually am very kind and empathetic to women who have scumbag husbands because i had one once but..i let her frickin have it.i think i reached my limit. i just can't be that laid back floor mat for jerks anymore.... had to vent. pissed me off.

Last night, some fu-tard is hitting on me in the shoutbox (and might I say quite poorly)...All the while he is NSFW a bunch of my pics. It aggrivated me and I asked if it was him and he said "I have to". What a piece or trash!!!I think what annoyed me the most is most of them were NOT bad at all. You do know regardless what ever pic I have will have some sort of cleavage. For goodness sakes I am a 44DDD!!!! I think what pissed me off the most was I asked about it and was blown off. Sometimes I feel like I am plotted against. Maybe I am tired or still recovering but MAN I am annoyed. Sorry to everyone who used to read my NSFW blogs but someone apparently did not like those either. I think I need a Fu Break.