My wife Kiki died on August 16, 2014. We were on our way to Jakarta (where I'm stuck right now) to continue chemotherapy treatment - because the powers that be didn't want to pay for treatment to be continued in Malaysia where we lived while she was attending college.

The doctor who was treating Kiki told the knucklefukcs in Indonesia that flying to Jakarta was not advised, and could be extremely dangerous under her worsening condition. Stage IV Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma is a horrible medical state for anyone to be in. "Funny thing" is, it would have costed the Indonesian Government less to have Kiki treated in Malaysia than in Indonesia.

She just faded away right next to me on the plane. My life I knew and was happiest with at that moment was gone. To not have the support of my own home country when I need it most SUCKS!!! While I was struggling to save my wife's life in a third world region of the butthole of the world, the President (Barack Obama) was showboating instead of doing his job.

We contacted thousands of people from everyday citizens to all areas of the media to politicians to foundations and corporations. We called, emailed, and tweeted day in and day out for several months. We made videos showing her in pain, in and out of the hospital. Two or three a$$holes accused us of perpetrating fraud. Dozens of people prayed for her recovery, and for me to be strong.

Well, prayers do not cure, or reverse the effects of cancer. And Kiki was my strength, so I didn't need help in that area. I won't say the praying killed here, but modern medicine was the only thing that was going to help especially since her condition got worse when she had to wait till the next cycle of treatment. Her faith was in tact throughout the whole ordeal, so that wasn't an issue.

I know most of the people who read our please begging for help could have spared one fukcing dollar. But, I couldn't hold a gun to their heads - though if I could go back in time, I'd pull a John Q. Public on anyone and everyone's a$$ to get the money to save my poor angel's life. On the up side, she isn't here suffering anymore.

On the down side, I have to pretend like I don't hold a deep-seated grudge against every single fukchead who saw enough evidence that we weren't pulling a scam, and go on with my life wanting to fulfill our dreams of helping orphans and the underprivileged in Southeast Asian, and fighting for equality for the LGBTQI Communities, and women all over the globe.

I still intend on helping people help themselves, and helping people help others, but if anyone is even suspected of being just a little bit lazy instead of helping someone who was on the verge of dying, and didn't help - only thought about helping, or just said they wanted to help to save themselves from looking like complete human turds, they can go straight to hell.

Now I can understand why so many rich people don't share what they've acquired. I don't condone it. I think anyone with even a little to give, who doesn't, is in the category of "surplus population".
Kiki and I wee the type of people who would give of ourselves if we had nothing else to give. And when we had very little to give, we gave what others NEEDED most from us.

So next time you say to yourself "Man! This world really sucks!" ask yourself if you're helping make it suck, or if you're helping it UNsuck. And if you're not completely honest with yourself, you'll eventually reap the "benefits" of your denial by living an even more fukced existence. Anypooh, I've never had sympathy for anyone who knows better than to do wrong, but does worse.

This is OUR planet. This is OUR life. If we don't work TOGETHER, we have none to blame when things fall apart. We can't blame the government. It doesn't make us do what we do. We are in control of what we do, even if others "help" us act out because they have violated us in some way, and distorted our purpose, the meaning of our lives and/or what motivates us to wake up every day.

We are here to help each other not make excuses why we should not. We are capable of helping others, and we are fully equipped to do so. When we help someone else, we are helping ourselves. We should enjoy the reward of giving someone what they need not hoarding what we do not. We will not leave this life with anything we acquire while we are here including our bodies.

So while we have arms (if we do), we should extend them to give not just take. It is up to us to know when to give and when to take. We have to be considerate of other's needs, and ignore their desire to be greedy. We have to act fast not take our sweet time getting around to it. If we have it to give, and we don't provide others with what they really need why do we deserve anything we need? We don't.

<3 RIP, Kiki (Sri Ayu) Rezeki-Fields (1985-2014) (3